Can you get a husband just by wishing?
For a moment, imagine that you could have anything you wanted simply by wishing for it to happen...
|||London - For a moment, imagine that you could have anything you wanted - a husband, a new career, a dream house with five bedrooms and a pool - simply by wishing for it to happen.
It sounds ridiculous, but thanks to a strange philosophy and a bestselling self-help book, there is a growing number of women who believe just that.
The book in question is The Secret, which has sold 20 million copies and spawned an entire industry of motivational speakers and authors, all espousing the theory that anything can be yours - if you wish for it hard enough.
Its author, life coach Rhonda Byrne, preaches the benefits of a process called ‘manifesting’ - and her followers are evangelical about the results.
Emma Tynan, 32, is one. The former fashion stylist is convinced she managed to wish herself an entirely new life - including the husband of her dreams.
Despite working for the likes of British Vogue and Burberry, Emma, from North London, says she was deeply unhappy.
‘I had no idea where I was going in life and had a very self-destructive lifestyle,’ she says. ‘I was drinking too much, dating the wrong kind of men and eating too much junk food. While I loved the fashion world, I knew it wasn’t my true purpose in life. It reached a point when I couldn’t go on any more and I packed in my job.’
Unable to pay her rent, Emma had to sleep on a friend’s blow-up mattress.
‘I did some volunteering and took a few odd jobs, and it gave me the space to think,’ says Emma.
‘I’ve always been a very spiritual person. I found myself reading books on manifesting and they made sense. They talked about everything as energy - if you set out an intention for what you want and give out that energy, you will bring it in.’
Her first intention was simple. She wanted to find a husband.
‘I manifested my wish for a husband, getting up at 6.30am every morning and meditating for ten minutes, wishing and asking, but I didn’t just leave it at that. I had a facial, bought new clothes and started online dating,’ she says.
‘It’s not about wishing to win the lottery, then sitting back and waiting for it to happen. You have to take action.’
On her profile on dating website match.com, she specified that she wanted to meet someone ‘spiritual’. Only two matches came up - one was over 65; the other was Andrew, now her husband. Astonishingly, he had been attending the same yoga class as Emma for a year.
‘He was always at the front while I’d been at the back, stinking of booze,’ says Emma. ‘If I hadn’t manifested him and gone online, I would never have spoken to him.’
Emma now manifests everything from life-changing events to the rather more mundane.
‘Some days I’ll manifest getting a free coffee. I’ll start talking to someone in Pret and they’ll happen to give me one,’ she says.
‘Other times I’ll manifest a parking space and one will appear miraculously. You can have anything you want. You just have to have a plan and have faith.’
Andrew and Emma married last August and Emma now coaches other women to use manifesting.
You have a powerful, life changing story. So tell it. ????????✨???????? #spiritjunkie #spiritualbossbabe pic.twitter.com/da2IesI5AF
— Emma Tynan (@emmatynan) May 15, 2016
‘I created this life because I wanted it to happen,’ she says. ‘I am an active participant in fulfilling my dreams.’
Cynics will ascribe the positive happenings in Emma’s life to coincidence. But there is some science to back up the theory.
Research has shown ‘priming the brain’ by envisioning a goal can significantly increase your likelihood of noticing opportunities to achieve that aim.
‘Having a positive mindset can influence outcomes,’ says Irene Tracey, Nuffield professor of anaesthetic science at the University of Oxford. ‘A study that involved introducing people to opioid (pain-relieving) drugs and not telling them when they were being stopped proved that those who were expecting to be relieved of pain experienced that.’
Of course, if wishful thinking prevents you from acting, it can lead to serious problems.
In a 1999 study, students were asked to visualise doing well in their exams for a few minutes each day. This manifesting caused them to relax, so they studied less and scored lower grades than those who didn’t visualise.
Gabrielle Bernstein, author of numerous books on manifesting, including May Cause Miracles, says it’s all about the right action at the right time.
The motivational speaker explains: ‘I believe in spiritually aligned action, which is taking action from a place of inspiration.’
Gabrielle, a former drug addict, insists she turned her life around by manifesting her dreams of inspiring others. She says everyone should daydream for at least two minutes a day and try to change negative thoughts into positive affirmations.
#spiritjunkie pic.twitter.com/4Axsrdh88F
— Gabby Bernstein (@GabbyBernstein) May 15, 2016
‘Instead of thinking “I’m never going to lose weight”, think “I’m going to the gym today and plan a really healthy dinner”.
‘Try to visualise what you want to create, then commit to that belief and take actions to help follow it through,’ she says.
Carolyn Sykes, 34, who follows Gabrielle avidly on Twitter, says daydreaming changed her life.
‘I was working in a pub, in debt and living with my parents when I met someone who lived his life through manifesting and seemed so fulfilled,’ says 34-year-old Carolyn.
‘I decided to give it a try. I put up some pictures on my wardrobe door of the perfect body I wanted, my dream car, a beautiful horse and an exotic holiday. I started to meditate about it for a few minutes a day - and a week later I inherited some money unexpectedly.
‘And then someone invited me to a retreat in Andalucia that looked just like the picture on mywardrobe. I met people on the retreat and made connections, soon landing a job in the horse-racing industry - I’d always loved horses. I worked all over Britain and was able to buy my own horse.’
Carolyn believes the world is now her oyster - and Sarupa Shah, 43, feels the same way.
The former social services inspector has been manifesting since she was a child. It was her own initiative, her parents having nothing to do with it.
‘I remember having a diary when I was as young as seven and writing down what I wanted to happen,’ says Sarupa, an author and speaker from London.
‘I wrote who I wanted as a best friend, how I wanted to do in my violin exam - and everything I wished for happened.
‘Even today, I do it all the time. I look at the pile of washing and think how I could do with a day off work, and then a client phones and reschedules.
‘It’s all about the energy and where you put your attention. If you are a person who believes in doom and gloom, that’s what you’ll get.’
So the fairy tales are true, it seems - at least for some lucky women. Wishing for something really can help to make it happen, provided you’re prepared to open your eyes to opportunities and work hard to achieve it.
Fairy godmothers could soon be out of a job.
Daily Mail