Rape culture: Let's end the blame game

Psychologist Derika de Villiers says that the reality is that SA's culture of rape is everyone's responsibility.

Cape Town - The on-going litany of rapes and murders of women and girls keeps the spotlight on South Africa's shocking culture of rape and gender-based violence.

With an estimated half million rape cases each year, our rate of sexual violence is amongst the highest in the world.

The topic will be addressed by Derika de Villiers, a clinical psychologist, at the South African College of Applied Psychology Festival of Learning on May 20.

According to a press release from festival organisers, the United Nations Office on Crime and Drugs currently ranks South Africa at number one in the world when it comes to rapes per capita.

While we might cry out legitimately for better police protections, legal procedures and more effective activism; the reality is our culture of rape is also the responsibility of each and every one of us - after all, it's our culture.

The epidemic of violence against girls and women in South Africa feeds hungrily on the unhealthy, false perceptions about the female gender and the imbalances of gender power that arise in our homes, schools and communities; as well as in media, political and societal discourse. It is up to each of us to examine our perceptions of rape and gender stereotyping, and change whatever we find that supports the terrible status quo in our country.

De Villiers says research in South Africa shows that victim-blaming perceptions, such as a girl or woman was raped because of what she wore; where she was and what she did, still persistently dominate the general South African population's thinking about rape.

There are many adults, a lot of them raising our next generation of boys and girls, who still resist the reality a rape happens because a rapist chooses to rape, and knowingly commits a crime that has terrible, long-lasting consequences for their victim.

If South African children are being raised and educated by adults who believe that it is right that girls and women need to curb their behaviour or change themselves in order to be safe and protected from boys and men; then our culture of rape will persist for many generations. Interventions are needed to reach children, and present a better, alternative view that would see girls safely asserting their rights to protection, and boys developing a far better empathy towards the female.

Both genders stand to benefit from an improved understanding of the genders and their roles. It is vital also to reinforce the importance of the protection everyone deserves in society; because as De Villiers (who also serves on the South African team of the UK-based, non-profit organisation Action Breaks Silence) points out: “In South Africa, male rape, especially amongst the youth, is on the increase.”

Efforts to help South African children and youth transform their gender perceptions and stereotyping include engaging girls in empowering personal safety and self-defence training workshops that challenge the ideas that male dominance is normal and that male aggression towards the female is acceptable, even natural.

They also need an alternative to the view that girls and women need to submit and appease in order to stay safe. Girls learn instead that is natural for the female to defend herself, her offspring and loved ones; and they are able to develop the skills to do this effectively and with confidence.

However, De Villiers points out that when it comes to gender issues, reaching South African boys effectively requires a completely different focus. “In order prevent boys becoming perpetrators of abusive and violent behaviour they need to develop a deep-rooted understanding of, and empathy towards women and girls,” she says.

“Empathy is a skill that children will 'download' automatically from their primary caregivers, and then develop as they grow. But if empathy is not modelled at home, and if it is largely absent from a child's school and community experience, then they need an intervention that enables them to know and practice this life skill. Learning empathy is a process which includes being able to recognise the emotions of another, be able to feel what it is like to 'stand in their shoes', and then from a position of respect and compassion, respond in an appropriate way.”

Given our appalling track record at keeping girls and women safe in South Africa, De Villiers believes passionately that we not only need youth-focused programmes like Action Breaks Silence to disrupt the country's culture of rape, but widespread, conscious and on-going citizen action.

“As parents, teachers, helping professionals and caregivers, all of us adults in South Africa need to examine our own gender stereotyping and perceptions, so that we can model and help children develop a far better view of the genders. We have the potential to develop a next-generation which would reject the villainy of preying on those they regard as more vulnerable than they are; and instead rise up as 'Superheroes' finding their healthy self-esteem and strength of character in their focus on the safety and protection of themselves, and all others.”

IOL, adapted from a press release

* Inspiring Transformation is the theme for the annual Psychology Festival of Learning, which will be hosted by SACAP at their Johannesburg campus on 19 and 20 May and at their Cape Town campus on 26 and 27 September.

The 2016 festival includes a short talk programme (evening) and a day programme.

Johannesburg Programme

Thursday, 19 May: Short Talk Programme (evening) R200

Friday, 20 May: Full-Day Programme R200

Student tickets for both events are R80

Cape Town Programme

Thursday, 26 May: Short Talk Programme (evening) R200

Friday, 27 May: Full-Day Programme R200

Student tickets for both events are R80

Tickets for the Psychology Festival of Learning as well as thprogramme with speakers details and topics are available on the website: www.psychologyfestival.co.za