Sanders-related grief is real — here's how to cope with it

Reuters/Jonathan Ernst

This week, Hillary Clinton became the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee.

Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders supporters are feeling the Bern — of tears, that is.

Mourning Bernie's loss like the death of a grandfather? Some may find that over-the-top. 

Believe it or not, it's normal

According to grief counselor Deborah S. Derman, the downfall of a favorite political candidate "has great parallels to the type of loss we experience when losing someone through a divorce or a death," she said in an emailed statement.

Grief can occur when people work hard for a certain outcome — such as a future that excites them — and it doesn't come to fruition, according to Derman.

"This type of grief is like the death of a dream and a life that we hoped to have, which we consider to be the best life," Derman said. "It's like something has been thrust upon you without your permission, taking away your choice and forcing you to accept it."

In the wake of Sanders' defeat, she's observed this type of grief in her own patients. 

"There's a sense of despair around this loss," Derman said, "because people had high hopes that things would be different this time."

Tweet Embed:
https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/740727864681586688
Im looking through the #ThankYouBernie tag and im crying im so sad hes out but so happy he exists

 Tweet Embed:
https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/740395102716219392
I feel like I lost my grandpa. I'm actually so sad over this. #thankyoubernie for genuinely caring for the people

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https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/740411722595479552
It's a sad day #ThankYouBernie pic.twitter.com/AlGj5Rb0bO

 Tweet Embed:
https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/740413387549638656
Sitting at the voting booth, thinking about Bernie and what could have been #GirlIGuessImWithHer pic.twitter.com/4H4LVCrQOJ

 Tweet Embed:
https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/740578659338059776
When I don't see Bernie on the ballot in November #GirlIGuessImWithHer pic.twitter.com/ylSN34wavv

How to cope with Sanders-related grief

The first step, according to Derman, is understanding that no matter how hard we work and no matter how badly we want something, events don't always play out in our favor. Our dream presidential candidates don't always get elected, or even win the primaries. It's disappointing, but it's the way the world works. 

For folks who are sad over Sanders' loss, Derman suggests they continue creating their ideal future, despite the obvious setbacks.

"The setbacks are a natural part of life, and there are still choices we can make," she said. "Do we leave the country, or do we continue to work for the kind of life we want?"

With all forms of loss — be it death or political defeat — "there are answers and things we can do," Derman said. "We should not give up the hopes or belief that our lives or our country will ultimately be alright."

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