How to get a shy person to open up to you in 5 minutes or less

Flickr/Arturo Donate

Shyness, according to Psychology Today, is "the awkwardness or apprehension some people feel when approaching or being approached by other people."

Shy people often "desperately want to connect with others, but don't know how or can't tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction."

John Stoker, president of DialogueWORKS and author of "Overcoming Fake Talk," says that 40% or more of the population would classify as "shy."

That means there's a good chance you'll have to deal with shy people at the office, networking events, or client meetings – and it may behoove you to know how to approach them. 

We asked Stoker for his tips on making a shy person feel at ease, and getting them to open up quickly.

Here are the six steps he shared:

This is an update of an article written by Natalie Walters.

1. Start with an introduction and an easy question

"Hi, I'm Jane Doe from _____. Who are you?"

While this may seem like a blunt introduction, Stoker says that you have to start with a simple, innocuous question like this to build a rapport.

"Asking questions is the easiest way to deepen or create a relationship with someone," he says.

2. Affirm the meeting

"If you make the first move by introducing yourself and taking an interest in the person, you will help to set them at ease, which will help you to establish a relationship with the person that could pay huge returns," he says.

But you'll want to go a step further and tell them how excited you are to be meeting them.

Try something like "I'm so glad we had a chance to meet today," "I'm so happy we're finally meeting!" or "It certainly is a pleasure to meet you today."

3. Use their name — often

"People love to hear their name," Stoker says.

So address them by it whenever possible.

It tells them that you really listened to their introduction and that you're engaged in the conversation.