Discord is becoming that overbearing friend that knows absolutely way too much about my life

I can't help but feel like a big fat stalker every time I open Discord these days. Yep, there's Jeff on his 12th listen of the Arcane soundtrack this week. Classic Gabby, 14 hours deep into a World of Warcraft session even though it's currently 8 am. Dan's exactly three minutes and 48 seconds into his Summoner's Rift game on League of Legends. Wait, who even is Dan? Discord, why are you telling me what he's up to?

More and more, I find myself thinking about that New York Times article, We Should All Know Less About Each Other. Okay, yes, that was a far more serious insight into an increasingly interconnected world and one research paper's (failed) attempt at breaking down political echo chambers. Discord's all-seeing gamer eye isn't quite so crucial to our society, but it sure is starting to feel like a lot.

Seeds of Discord

Now listen, I know the concept of online statuses is older than some of you reading this. I was insistent on making sure everyone knew which emo banger I was giving myself hearing damage with on MSN, and seeing my high school boyfriend in the trenches of Nuketown on the Xbox 360 was usually a pretty good indicator of why he wasn't texting me back on BBM.

They've literally been around for as long as I can remember at this point, and the thing is I do like them! I like seeing when my friends are playing a game I also want to play, almost like an unspoken invitation to dive in and say hello. It's cool to see someone else playing something I like but haven't seen too many others trying out, giving me the perfect conversation starter I may not have otherwise had without that knowledge.

But has anyone else noticed Discord is starting to act like a bit of an overbearing friend, keeping tabs on what we're doing and what we have been doing like, all the freakin' time? Like okay Discord, I was cool with you telling everyone what I was playing. I didn't even really mind your Rich Presence integration for some games, giving my friends a lil' extra info on what exactly I was getting up to within whatever game I was playing.

What I'm not all that cool with is the whole Recent Activity thing that got added a few months back basically giving a play-by-play on how I spent my last several days gaming. I did not need my friends to know I'm playing Overwatch 2 for the first time in 10 months—they bully me enough for my life choices as is—nor did they need to know I am on my millionth streak of Final Fantasy 14 despite the fact I keep whinging that I have nothing to do in the game.

Oversharing is not caring

Yep, Discord is a proper gossip right now! It tells damn near anyone who'll listen when you last played something, how long you played it for, how many days in a row, and the number of hours you've dumped into it this week, you wee sicko. Almost every time I enter a server it's telling me which of my friends desperately need to touch grass, unless the feature has been dutifully disabled by a moderator.

Sure, I can just turn it off, but with it I have to go totally dark and entirely hide what I'm playing. If I'd rather not have everyone know I'm on my 20-day sicko-streak for my latest gacha game obsession, then nobody can know I'm playing it at all. I'm either forced to walk onto the stage stark naked for all to see, or I don't get to perform Macbeth at all. And I at least want people to know I'm performing Macbeth, you know?

I do wish I had a little more agency over how much of an oversharer I can be on Discord. I use it every single day, it's where I talk to almost all of my friends and it's even a good metric for figuring out what the Hot Game of the moment is, which unsurprisingly comes in handy for this ol' job. I don't want to be a total recluse, but I don't exactly want to be baring all, either. Just back off a little bit and give me some more personal space please, Discord, okay? Thanks.