If Compassion Is a Weakness, Then I Want to Be As Weak As Possible

Compassion: To sit in the presence of disagreement and listen carefully to everyone involved. To reach out to someone in need even when we don't know them or even dislike them. To stand up for what we believe without confessing the sins of another. To imagine that our enemies have dreams and regrets when they go to sleep at night. To consider how we might be shortsighted, narrow-minded, or just plain mistaken. To be grateful for our good fortune and wish the same for others. To feel the pain of another's loss or setback. To feel the joy of another's success. To speak up for others when they are not heard. To forgive ourselves and others when there is offense. To see self-defensiveness and harsh judgments when they arise within us and choose a response based on common humanity.

We live in a world where these things are often characterized as weakness. We live in a world where winning, being the loudest, getting the most, being rigid, and hitting the hardest are held up as virtues. We live in a world where being empathetic, kind, and grateful are fine messages for church sermons or greeting cards, but not really applicable when you are trying to get ahead. We live in a world where dollars and borders are more valuable and worthy of protection than human lives and dignity. We live in a world where seeking peaceful resolution is a radical ideology and nonviolence is equated with inaction.

If compassion is a weakness, then I want to be as weak as possible. I want to be weak enough to let go of my need to be better than others. I want to be weak enough to resist the urge to rank people by wealth, nationality, career, race, gender, and orientation. I want to be weak enough to be brokenhearted in the face of suffering and defenseless in the face of human need. I want to be weak enough to smile and say hello to the person on the street not knowing if they will return the gesture. I want to be weak enough to feel the weight that each of us carries as we pretend to have it all figured out.

This weakness is not likely to get me elected or make me a millionaire. It is possible that others will take advantage of this weakness and leave me bruised. This weakness will not keep death from visiting my life. But, at the end of it all, what am I without connections to others? If I sit victorious and alone in my castle behind impenetrable walls, separate from all who I perceive as different, disagreeable, or less than, what have I gained with all my strength?

Being weak takes practice. Every morning when I wake up I run the risk of getting stronger. I fall back into familiar habits of talking about "them" and blaming some political party or group for being who they are. I can easily get comfortable sorting people into the good pile and the bad pile. I can spend my time constructing watertight arguments to shoot down anyone who has a view that conflicts with my own. I can look right past the inconvenient pain of others. If I am not mindful, I will become very strong.

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