Stephen Colbert tries to ignore Donald Trump, mocks Clinton, Carson, and Bush instead
Stephen Colbert spent about two minutes on Wednesday's Late Show explaining why he was going to resist the temptation to "boot up some of the orange pony," his drug-slang way of saying he would spend at least one night not talking about Donald Trump. Offending every non-white group is Trump's "entire electoral strategy," Colbert said. "Trump says something shocking, then all of us on TV spend days repeating it, giving him millions of dollars worth of free air time." So, after, again, two minutes of talking about Trump, Colbert simply agreed with a pithy bipartisan duo of critics and turned to the rest of the 2016 presidential field.
He started with Hillary Clinton, who has been AWOL as of late — intentionally, Colbert suggested, as a way to avoid making any big gaffes in front of large audiences. "To play it safe, I suggest she appear only at Martin O'Malley events," he said, cruelly. With Clinton not saying much, he turned to Ben Carson, rolling off a Middle Eastern food–themed pun fest tied to Carson's mispronunciation of Hamas before a Jewish group. Colbert saved the biggest dis for last, though, with a one-joke jab at Jeb Bush, repeated for comic effect. Watch below — if nothing else, it's a good reminder that there's more than one candidate running for president.