Jesus Saves, But Not Well

You all know about the devastating tornados that hit Texas, killing at least 8 people, maybe more.What you don’t know is that there’s a lady named Sabrina Lowe who called upon Jesus to help. Sabrina was in her apartment with other people and … well, I’ll let her tell it.

We actually went outside and started commanding the winds because God had given us authority over the winds – the airways. And we just began to command this storm not to hit our area. We – we spoke to the storm and said, go to unpopulated places. It did exactly what we said to do because God gave us the authority to do that.

So let me see if I have this straight. You prayed, but screwed up on your directions so other people got killed?

And, Honey, you might try reading that Bible. Ecclesiastes 8:8 —

As no one has power over the wind to contain it, so no one has power over the time of their death. As no one is discharged in time of war, so wickedness will not release those who practice it.

Sweet Jesus, when you come again, please do not come to Texas. They will beat you up with their Bibles.