13 Resolutions For 2016 That You Can Actually Keep
I mean, you’re going to die anyway, but might as well be less bad before it happens.
Travel more!
Even if you don't have the time or money for a big trip, there's more than one way to be adventurous. Wear sunglasses indoors and pretend you are on a beach. Go to the dentist in a big hat. Take a different bus to work. Follow a stranger into their van. Let destiny take the wheel.
Thinkstock
All you have to do is talk about it constantly, at every waking moment. When your friend tells you her dog died, grab her by the shoulders and say, "I know you're having a hard time right now but did I mention that I'm going Paleo. I think your dog would be proud if we ate grass-fed beef in his honour."
Save more money!
Instead of visiting a laundromat or spending money on expensive detergents, wash your clothes in the toilet.
Thinkstock
Take 12 slips of paper, write your biggest regrets inside, and in the cover of night, fill them with fresh grass from your ex's lawn. Smoke them in quick succession or until the unbearable weight of the world crushes your chest.