11 tough truths about leadership that no one talks about

U.S. Embassy New Delhi via flickr

Ever wondered how the greatest leaders are able to handle being at the top so effortlessly?

The truth is, these highly successful people do stumble, worry, and doubt themselves.

"Great leaders know that every step they take, every decision they make, matters in the end," says author and public speaker Deirdre Maloney in her book "Tough Truths."

"They know they must strategize carefully, then act aggressively," she says. "They know they must think ahead — not just to their next step — but to the many steps after it." 

In her book, Maloney shares 11 tough leadership lessons that aren't usually discussed by those on top.

This is an update of a post originally written by Vivian Giang.

It's all about politics.

To succeed at work and in life, you have to master politicking.  

"Whether we want our boss to give us a raise, our child to stop squirming on the airplane, or the department store to take back our purchase when we don't have a receipt, every single interaction involves influencing and persuading others in order to get what we want," says Maloney.

Great leaders understand the importance of persuasion and that, in addition to a great work ethic, you also have to have the "ability to have relatable, effective, and influential relationships."

Success makes you unpopular.

When you're a leader-in-progress, you will have people supporting you, be it your boss or colleagues. However, once you start achieving the expectations that these people have, you'll be less liked.

Maloney says that to be a great leader, you need to have a "strong will and an even stronger stomach." At the end of the day, you need to remind yourself that your job isn't to make everyone happy, but rather to improve the organization as a whole.

You aren't as interesting to others as you are to yourself.

Everyone thinks they're interesting, but great leaders know their stories aren't as interesting to other people as they are to themselves. That's why they keep the focus on the other person. 

"They keep their stories short, their complaints even shorter," writes Maloney. "They don't send long emails or memos that go on for pages. They leave the other person wanting more."

When you turn your attention on the other person, they will inevitably share more about themselves with you, and when this happens, a bond is formed. That's how you get people to trust you.