There's a new Gladiator movie, so naturally there's a new Gladiator-themed Pepsi ad

In America, we can get nostalgic about anything—even commercials. (Just ask a Millennial to rap "Education Connection.") And under capitalism, advertisements have been cultural products worthy of a sequel. Thus, we get Pepsi's own Gladiator II, the grand follow-up to the iconic 2004 commercial that starred gladiators Beyoncé, P!nk, and Britney Spears with Emperor Enrique Iglesias. In lieu of another diva-off, this one's got Megan Thee Stallion, a handful of football players (yes, including Travis Kelce), and a couple comedic character actors. 

You may think: That sounds like a lot going on for one commercial. In fact, it is. The original, directed by Tarsem Singh (The Fall), had a simple conceit with a mild girl power message (in it, the three female singers throw down their weapons and defy the emperor with the power of song). And while the cover of "We Will Rock You" couldn't touch the original, it was at least interesting to hear three very different vocalists take on an incredibly familiar track. 

The sequel ad, directed by Ridley Scott's actual son Jake Scott (!!!), is oddly more complicated. We start off with Lamorne Morris and Jake Lacy debating their fantasy football teams while ordering Pepsi at a bar (???). The Pepsi transports them to ancient Rome, where Josh Allen, Derrick Henry, Justin Jefferson, and Kelce are our new gladiators, and Megan Thee Stallion is the empress. While the football players team up to defeat the savage beasts in the Coliseum, Megan raps over the "We Will Rock You" beat. It doesn't sound great. Then the Coliseum turns into a football stadium and then the football stadium turns back into a bar and football's biggest ham, Travis Kelce, mugs an "Are you not entertained?" from the bar's television. There are almost too many layers of reality and fantasy going on here. 

Is the Gladiator II Pepsi commercial truly a disappointing sequel to the Gladiator Pepsi commercial, or is nostalgia just a mind trick? The original commercial didn't even air on television in America, it's just gained a sort of cult following over the last decade. Does that speak to the genuine quality of that old ad, or just to the wistfulness of the American consumer? If there's anything to be gleaned from putting these two cultural artifacts side-by-side, it's that today's version of corporate creativity is stuffed to the gills with too many ideas. Adjusting for inflation, today a half-dozen semi-recognizable figures across entertainment industries are worth the same as three major pop stars from 2004. And apparently, there isn't a worthy pop vocalist of this generation who can belt "We Will Rock You."