We're paying for private school for our son, but we won't pay for college

We know our 5-year-old won't thrive in a public school setting, so he's going to a private school. He can receive scholarships for college.

• When it was time for my 5-year-old to start school, I knew the public school setting wasn't for him.
• We've decided to pay for his private school, but not for his college. 
• We don't know if he'll even attend college, and there are scholarships he can apply to. 

As we entered the kindergarten room on a tour of our local public school, the entire class was wearing headphones and engrossed in their tablets.

Seeing my eyebrows rise in surprise, the teacher said, "Don't worry, they're only on devices for 20 to 30 minutes each day."

"And how long are they outside for recess?" I asked.

"Half an hour per day," came the response.

I couldn't imagine my energetic son thriving in an environment where he had daily tablet time and only 30 minutes a day outside at such a young age. Like most 5-year-olds, he was constantly on the move exploring, making up games, and figuring out life by doing. At the time, he attended a play-based preschool where imagination and play led to learning and discoveries.

I knew that moving him into our local public school setting would be at odds with who he is naturally and would be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. After talking with my husband, we decided to enroll him in a Montessori school, where he has flourished.

We are not paying for his college tuition

The notion of sending a child to private school isn't entirely out of the ordinary, but what usually surprises people is our decision to pay for his early education but not for college.

We arrived at our decision because we truly believe that by setting the groundwork for a love of learning early in life, our son will ultimately be more successful. He is an outside-the-box thinker, a hands-on learner, and thrives in smaller environments. Unfortunately, the local public school system prioritizes teaching to the standardized state test, continuously makes cutbacks to the arts and music programs, and has burgeoning class sizes with too few teachers.

Investing in his education during these crucial formative years makes more sense for our family than paying college tuition, which he may or may not even attend.

There are options when it comes to college

If he does attend college, there are ways to reduce the tuition price, from scholarships — over $100 million worth go unclaimed yearly—to work-study programs to attending a community college for the first couple of years. It is also naive to think that the educational landscape will look the same when he is 18. Gaining knowledge outside the traditional classroom setting is easier than ever before and is only becoming more accessible.

While we will not pay for his college education, we have set up a custodial account for him, which he will have complete control of upon turning 18. Each birthday and Christmas, we deposit $500 and any financial gifts from family into his account, which we invest in an index fund. We are not stipulating what he does with this money, which is why we opted for a custodial account rather than a 529 account, which must be used for higher education.

Even if we did decide to help him with college expenses, rising tuition costs would make our contributions negligible. We believe using the money now will have a more significant impact on his educational experience than saving it for later.

The yearly tuition cost for my son's school is $9,000, and while we are comfortably considered middle class with both of us working, we are not wealthy. Rather than getting caught up in the lifestyle creep, we continue to live much as we did when we made less money. From owning one paid-off car to cooking at home to buying clothes from thrift stores, we have enabled ourselves to save the extra money we have made over the past few years.

Putting that money toward our son's primary education was an easy decision for our family.