SCOTUS Signs Up For Corruption Gift Registry

The Supreme Court Wednesday said it’s okay for companies to give public officials “gratuities” after those officials award the companies seven-figure contracts.Because, honestly, what even is “unethical”?

The 6-3 ruling fell along party lines, but split the court’s bipartisan gift-accepting judges.The judges who okayed official corruption were appointed to the court by law-and-order Presidents Bush, Other Bush, and Trump. The judges who objected to legalizing corruption were the trio of women appointed by namby-pamby soft-on-crime Presidents Obama and Biden.

Wednesday’s ruling, written by Justice Brett Kavanaugh — a credibly alleged sexual abuser — said that the law makes a legal distinction between bribes given for government action before the fact, and “gratuities” given after the fact.

The case concerned Portage, IN, Mayor James Snyder, who gave contracts worth $1.1 million contract to Great Lakes Peterbilt for five garbage trucks. The next year, Great Lakes Peterbilt wrote Snyder a $13,000 check.
Snyder claimed the check was for his work as a consultant. A jury of his peers heard that argument and proceeded to shoot milk out their 12 noses from laughing so hard. Snyder was sentenced to a year in prison.

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