Motherhood does not fit so well in a culture that values self-care over service. And that's a problem
Young women are waiting so long to get married that they will be unable to have children and become childless. And some young women are purposely choosing to be child-free.
Happy Mother’s Day! It’s so appropriate to honor our moms on this special day. We wouldn’t be here without them. And that may be an issue for the future.
The Institute for Family Studies projects that 1 in 4 young women today will not be mothers. America’s fertility rate is falling.
Young women are waiting so long to get married that they will be unable to have children and become childless. And some young women are purposely choosing to be child-free.
There is nothing inherently wrong with not having children. For some, it is not a choice. And for a small minority, it is a choice to pursue a higher calling. But for most women, having children is essential for a flourishing society. Motherhood is a crucial life role.
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Where would we be without our moms we celebrate today? The difference they make in our lives is incalculable. Being a mom provides a woman with an unparalleled opportunity to impact lives. For many women there is no job or career she can have that will make a difference like the one she makes as a mom.
Healthy relationships equal success. Most people eventually come to this realization in life. Material possessions, status, power, whatever is defined as success ultimately proves secondary to a happy family. It would be such a mistake to miss this experience.
My mom is deceased. I wish I had appreciated her more when she was alive. When she was dying, she shared why she was so proud of me. I will never forget it. Her opinion meant more to me than anything. Whenever I am facing hardships, I remember her words and it lifts me every time. This is the power of a mom.
I can’t celebrate my mom today, but I can celebrate my wife, the mother of our two sons. The love she has shown to our sons has been beautiful to witness. They could not have had a better mother. What my wife has done as a mom is the greatest accomplishment of her life.
THE ONE FEAR PREVENTING SOME WOMEN FROM HAVING CHILDREN
But being a mom is hard work. There is no doubt about it. It requires a level of self-sacrifice not popular today. This may be part of the issue. Motherhood does not fit so well in a culture of self-care over service.
It’s true that being a mom means having limited time to pursue your own interests. Carrying the burden of having another human being dependent on you. And the stress of making decisions based on what is best for your child rather than yourself. Being a mom requires putting your own desires subordinate to your child.
But what achievement of value comes without sacrifice. You don’t get a college degree without years of hard work. You don’t win a championship without incredible effort. You don’t own your own business without giving up security. Nothing worthwhile can be had without self-denial.
And the rewards of motherhood are numerous. Though it certainly takes your husband’s contribution to make life, you bring life into this world. You become the most important person in your young child’s life. You have a unique opportunity to share your love and shape a life.
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You have someone to focus on. You’ll surely not be bored or aimless. You will have a purpose that gets you up in the morning and motivates you to action. When your parenting at home is done, you can look forward to the reward of grandchildren. Your chance to relive the best parts of mothering without the responsibilities.
It may seem like a huge commitment. But it can be just a third of your adult life. If you have two children that are three years apart that will be 21 years of mothering in the home. You’ll always be a mom but not have the day-to-day obligations. With our ever-increasing life spans you should have plenty of years to pursue your interests or career goals.
If you choose to be child-free or wait so long you become childless you may have regrets later in life. Unquestionably, being a mom is a big job and should not be entered into flippantly.
But you can do it! Even if you had a bad example, fear the financial commitment or wonder if it’s too hard.
Psalm 127:3 says, "Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord." Consider having God bless you with the gift of a child.