On Reddit, guest who bolted from bride's dry wedding to go drinking is defended by therapist
A Reddit user who left a wedding reception early to go out after finding out the event was dry was not necessarily wrong to do so, a therapist told Fox News Digital.
A Reddit user who left a dry wedding to go out drinking with her college friends did not necessarily do the wrong thing — but better communication between the couple and their guests would have prevented most problems, a therapist told Fox News Digital.
"AITA for leaving the dry wedding early to go out?" user "Radiant_List_9993" said in a July 15 post on the Reddit page known as AITA ("Am I the A--hole").
In the post, the user revealed that, two weeks ago, she and her husband attended a wedding in their college town for a friend of theirs from college.
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"We got a VRBO with another couple I went to college with," she wrote. "My husband and I don't have a ton of time to ourselves away from the kids, so we were excited to let loose."
When they got to the wedding, however, things were not as the couple expected.
"On the invitation, it said the wedding went to 11 [p.m.] with an after-party with the bride and groom at the venue," she wrote. "The venue was a gorgeous mansion and the bride and groom had it for the night."
The ceremony began at 5 p.m., she wrote, and the reception began an hour later.
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When Radiant_List_9993 and her husband arrived at the wedding, they found out there was not going to be any alcohol served, as the groom had been sober for two years.
"No one told us this and we were admittedly bummed," she said. "When we found out there was no alcohol, we told people we were going to some bars after and not going to the after-party."
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So Radiant_List_9993 and her husband left the wedding at 9:30 p.m., as they "were itching to go out and the wedding was boring."
She added, "Pretty much the whole college crew left around that time and went out. Apparently, the bride's friend group did not stay for the party, the groom's did, and the optics were very lopsided at the party."
The bride was upset that her friends left, Radiant_List_9993 wrote.
"She said that she didn't feel supported" — and that her friends were somehow taking it out on her now-husband "for his sobriety," she said.
"I told her that she was reading too much into it. We just wanted to go out. She is especially mad at me as I'm looked at as the ringleader of this outing," the woman wrote.
Radiant_List_9993 said she did not think she did anything wrong and asked other Reddit users to weigh in on the situation.
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Fox News Digital reached out to the woman for any updates.
On Reddit, most of the more than 3,000 replies to the post were critical of how Radiant_List_9993 chose to handle the situation of a dry wedding.
"She is trying to support her now-husband and she'll be supporting him like that during the whole marriage, and you couldn't even support your friend for 1.5 more hours? Life isn't about only ever doing what you want to do," Reddit user "starbiebarbie99" wrote in the top "upvoted" comment.
"Sometimes we have to participate in boring parties to celebrate the people we love. Get over it," the user added.
Others concurred.
"I'd like to call you [not the a--hole]. Had you just left quietly and not talked about it with groups of [people] you would have gotten that judgment," said Reddit user "Alternative-Gur-6208."
The same commenter continued, "Unfortunately, YTA. You told all the friends that this sucked and you were leaving to go get drunk, and became a ringleader for the group of friends to follow."
Said another person, "Ok-Acanthaceae5744," "That's a crappy way to treat a ‘friend.’ Basically, you all abandoned the wedding celebration, and I'm guessing she was looking forward to celebrating her wedding with her 'friends.'"
"Honestly, you should go to weddings to celebrate and support the marriage of the friends and/or family — drinking should never [be] a necessity," said Ok-Acanthaceae5744. "Even if you were bummed about the alcohol, celebrating and being happy for your friend would take priority over you getting drunk."
While Reddit users were largely critical of how the woman handled the situation, Rachel Goldberg, a Los Angeles-based therapist, offered a different perspective in comments to Fox News Digital.
"This situation underscores the importance of communication and managing expectations," Goldberg told Fox News Digital in an email.
"The bride should have informed her guests in advance that it was going to be a dry wedding and communicated her hopes and expectations, such as guests staying longer or appreciating the sober nature of the event."
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Knowing that the event was going to be alcohol-free "would have allowed for a discussion where guests could decide if they wanted to attend or come up with alternative plans, such as allowing some alcohol later in the evening or having a shorter celebration followed by morning brunch," she said.
Radiant_List_9993 "wasn't wrong for leaving," Goldberg said, as she "had certain expectations about the wedding."
And "when those weren't met, she chose to make the most of her trip," she said.
Goldberg continued, "On the other hand, the bride understandably felt upset because her special day didn't go as she had hoped, and she was disappointed her friends didn't show up for her as she expected."
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All of these issues could have been avoided, Goldberg said, had the bride and groom simply said their wedding reception was not going to offer alcohol.
"Better communication beforehand, especially knowing her friends' preferences, could have helped avoid these misunderstandings," she said.