Reddit dog-allergy victim is shamed for leaving family reunion early: 'Couldn't take it anymore'
A woman on Reddit asked for advice after she got grief from family members for leaving a family reunion early due to her allergic reaction to a dog.
A woman who left a family party early after a dog that was unexpectedly brought to the event triggered her allergies was completely right to do so, an etiquette expert and an allergist both told Fox News Digital.
"AITA for leaving a family reunion early because of my cousin's unannounced pet?" asked Reddit user "dreamyassistant" in a July 15 post on the website's "Am I the A--hole" page.
In the post, the woman said her husband's family holds annual reunions, which are a "big event where we all catch up, play games and enjoy each other's company."
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This year, however, one of her husband's relatives recently got a dog — "which she adores and brings everywhere. However, no one mentioned there would be a dog coming to the reunion."
Dreamyassistant wrote that she has a "severe dog allergy" and seeing the dog running around at the reunion made her feel anxious.
"I approached [the cousin] and gently reminded her about my allergy, hoping she would understand and maybe keep the dog in a separate area," she said.
"Instead, she got defensive because she didn't remember I had an allergy. But then she told me she would keep the dog away."
The dog, however, apparently did not stay away.
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"I tried to participate in the activities, but within an hour, I was already sneezing and my eyes were itching terribly," the woman wrote in her post. "I couldn't take it anymore and told my husband I had to leave."
Her husband, she said, "suggested I should try to stick it out" — but dreamyassistant decided to leave, much to her husband's family's chagrin.
They "gave me a hard time for 'overreacting' and 'ruining the fun,'" she said.
"I drove back home feeling frustrated and left out," she said.
"I left my husband there and a family member would drive him home." Later, "I received a series of texts from his aunt accusing me of being dramatic and saying that my departure made everyone uncomfortable."
Her husband, too, was "frustrated," dreamyassistant said, "because he felt caught in the middle."
She added, "He wasn't supportive of my decision to leave early and made it clear that he was disappointed. He thought I should have tried harder to manage my allergies and stay for the sake of family unity" — which made dreamyassistant "feel even more isolated."
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Other people in the family, though, "understood my situation and said I did the right thing by prioritizing my health."
"Now, I'm conflicted because I hate the idea of causing family tension and having this awkward situation with my husband, but I also feel like my concerns were valid," she said.
Fox News Digital reached out to dreamyassistant for an update.
Both an allergist and an etiquette expert told Fox News Digital that the woman was right to leave the event after her allergies became too tough to handle.
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"Pet allergen can stay suspended in the air for up to two months, even if the pet is removed from the home," Dr. Tania Elliott, a New York-based board-certified allergist, said in an email to Fox News Digital.
She said taking allergy medication at least 30 minutes to an hour before exposure is ideal, but "you can take it as soon as symptoms start."
Rosalinda Randall, a California-based etiquette expert, agreed, saying that dreamyassistant needed to prioritize her health first.
"When we encounter a situation that could affect our well-being, we must take action, preferably without interrupting or making the host [make] extreme changes," Randall said in an email.
She continued, "In this case, the dog had free rein, even though you politely asked if it could be restrained."
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The family members' complaints about the woman leaving the party and suggestions that she take medication is "none of their business," Randall said.
"We must never feel that we need to divulge our health protocols," she said. "It is sad that so many people lacked concern and made [this] health condition their business."
Reddit users mostly agreed. Of the 300 or so replies to the post, most said that she needed to take care of herself rather than stick around while she was having an allergic reaction.
"Why were you meant to stick around at a party when you were sick, miserable and suffering? I'm so sick of people [thinking] anti-histamines are some type of magic bullet that instantly cure any allergy," Reddit user "CheerilyTerrified" said in the top reply to the post.
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While antihistimines can help an allergy, "I have to take mine days in advance and even then they minimize the symptoms and stop me getting really sick, but they don't magically stop me being allergic to something," the same user continued.
"Your husband's lack of care and consideration for you was appalling," the same commenter said, adding that the husband is apparently more content with his wife being unhappy than his family.
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"What's the point of family unity without love and caring?"
Said user "Boeing367-80" in another top comment, "If family unity was so important, why didn't the family put the dog in a location where it had food, water and shade but could not get out? If they weren't willing to do that, they, not [dreamyassistant], were failing to prioritize family unity."
Others weighed in as well.
"People without allergies have no understanding of how debilitating it can be. The ads on TV give them unrealistic ideas on how effective antihistamines are. So, from that point of view, they're ignorant," user "ludditesunlimited" said.
Other Reddit users commiserated with stories of their own allergies and people's misunderstandings about severe allergies.
"I have a severe rabbit allergy and a Benadryl will basically allow me to rush past a rabbit. And then buy me enough time to get home and take a thorough shower and then take a nap. No other allergy meds will touch it, and if I hang around I will end up having an asthma attack eventually," user "ScroochDown" said.
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"I've tried almost every allergy medication and none of them will allow me to hang out near a rabbit, even outdoors," the same user added.
"I even had allergy shots, and being able to walk through a room with a rabbit in it is actually an improvement from the previous state."