I’m a pro-life pastor who is very thankful the miracle of IVF allowed me to become a dad
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is widely accepted as a blessing to parents of all religions and political persuasions. Thankfully, Gov. Greg Abbott strongly supports access to IVF.
But an Alabama court decision reignited questions about the personhood of embryos that had been put to rest years ago. Unfortunately, a small but vocal minority have fixated on this position, and it has certainly been no help to the pro-life cause or to families struggling with infertility.
Women struggling with infertility are being shamed with religious jargon, where some claim IVF lacks the "mystery of natural conception" or that children conceived through IVF are less than human.
It’s common for ethical questions like these to be viewed through the lens of newsworthy court decisions or interesting intellectual debates. But that’s not all they are. The topic of infertility is intrinsically personal and often painful, especially for women.
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My wife, Audrey, and I should know.
There are few things as difficult in a marriage as infertility. It’s assumed that if you’re married and desire children, you’ll be able to have them. Yet that wasn’t the case for us.
We struggled with infertility for a painfully long five years. We tried everything. We saw marriage counselors, met with fertility specialists and attended prayer meetings.
All the while, friends seemed to get pregnant very easily. Everywhere we went, we saw happy couples celebrating newborns. The rise of social media only added to the pain. Our feeds were full of pregnancy announcements and gender reveals, while the "not pregnant" results stared at us from one pregnancy test after another.
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We had every hormone in our bodies checked. Every intimate detail of our love life was examined for medical inquiry. And the physical stress paled in comparison to the emotional toll infertility was taking on our marriage.
Audrey and I eventually came to a crossroads. We could give up, or we could pursue the modern medical miracle of IVF.
As it had already been during many other doctor appointments, science and faith came together in our quest to become pregnant. Our relationship with God was essential, and we were inspired to do everything we could to become pregnant, which meant the financial and emotional risk of IVF.
Early one October morning, after five years of negative results, Audrey took her pregnancy test on the day instructed by our reproductive endocrinologist, not long after an embryo was transferred to her womb. I remember Audrey running toward me in our bedroom, collapsing in my arms, exclaiming, "It said YES!"
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Nine months later, our beautiful daughter, Lily Faith, was born.
What a handful of lawmakers and a few judges fail to understand is that an embryo doesn’t always transform into a pregnancy or develop into a child – whether that’s entirely naturally in the womb or with help via medical procedures like IVF. An embryo is not synonymous with a child. That was true even before IVF existed. Only when an embryo successfully attaches in a mother’s womb does a child begin its beautiful journey to soon living an independent life.
I say this as a pro-life individual who believes every life is sacred and precious.
But what I’ve learned from endocrinologists – many sharing the same faith as I do might I add – is that a handful of outliers claiming an embryo in and of itself is the beginning of pregnancy simply misunderstand the process and hinder moms and dads on their journey to give birth and start families.
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Over the course of time, before a natural pregnancy even begins, multiple embryos will likely have attempted to attach to the womb as future parents try to have children. Only 25% of the time are they successful. And with IVF, multiple embryos are often also needed to have the blessing of success and for the pregnancy to officially begin.
If fertility specialists are not allowed to help families create multiple embryos, as a female body does naturally throughout its life, this will significantly decrease the chance the IVF cycle will be successful. Or specialists will be forced to implant all viable embryos at once, an outdated procedure, which can be medically dangerous.
The whole purpose of being pro-life is to see the value in children and help moms and dads enjoy their God-given ability to raise them. It seems not only misguided but counter-productive to limit a way for families to enjoy the blessing of children. Pro-life means supporting the path to pregnancy, not hindering it.
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Our IVF procedure in 2008 was so successful that we were blessed to have additional healthy embryos, which were used in future implantations. Lily Faith soon had a little brother, our precious Justin.
We decided to try and have a third, and when we went in for our customary confirmation sonogram, the ultrasound tech stared at his computer and blurted out, "One, two, three." Audry and I were perplexed. But his next words turned our world upside down in the most beautiful way: "You are having triplets!"
Five years of pain, questions and waiting led to the five most wonderful blessings we could have asked for. Lily Faith, Justin, and now Abel, Ryder, and Jaxson have brought more joy to our lives than we ever dreamed possible. When I look at them, I thank God for the miracle of IVF and for thousands of Christian physicians who are reproductive endocrinologists.
Prohibiting IVF will indeed prevent children from entering our world. Whereas defending IVF will allow future parents to fulfill their God-given desire to nurture a child.
That’s what the pro-life position should entail. It’s about valuing children, celebrating them when they’re on the way, and doing everything possible to help moms and dads pro-create – no matter their hurdles.