The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Jan. 13-19)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
In a bad mood and watching my boyfriend complete a task really slowly. what could go wrong
— helena (@freshhel) January 14, 2024
football players are all like gimme that coconut it’s mine! and tennis players are all like fuck this lemon i hate it so much
— kim (@KimmyMonte) January 14, 2024
It's amazing how much I accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) January 18, 2024
Black people will make fun of you for anything, I wore a trench coat to dinner 4 months ago & up till now I’m still being called inspector gadget ????
— v ★ (@venuvelli) January 14, 2024
tried to take an outfit pic, but someone had other plans.. pic.twitter.com/E6dwK00n5w
— bella (@earlygirl__) January 14, 2024
being a glasses wearer is so humiliating. Why are my lenses fogging up when I open the oven like I’m some kind of cartoon character
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) January 17, 2024
My mom loves to be like “that is NOT a newborn” when we watch shows
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) January 18, 2024
my roommate and I have started texting each other like democratic fundraising messaging pic.twitter.com/UDnuFbXeGK
— Paige Moskowitz (@paigemoskowitz) January 18, 2024
taking a selfie at 17: i look cute i think i’ll send this to my crush
— chase (@_chase_____) January 17, 2024
taking a selfie at 27: this photo is for the sole purpose of documenting the exact appearance of my face at this particular moment in time to look back at wistfully once i’m very old
A mysterious 4th thing when I don’t call, text or FaceTime you but I think about you dearly. https://t.co/0frKa1wVlD
— Savia (artist)???????????????? (@saviaivas) January 18, 2024
can i come over and make stomach noises
— alisa (@squirtstain) January 14, 2024
toddlers are so unserious, like why do you have a beer belly
— vxz ???? (@vxsjmz) January 14, 2024
“therapy doesn’t work for me” ok well I hate to break it to you but the mental illness isn’t working for you either
— trash jones (@jzux) January 13, 2024
you just dont see people holding the end of a pencil and wiggling it to make it look like its bendy like you used to
— buttball (@imniceandsmart) January 14, 2024
My favorite part of It's Complicated is when Meryl Streep says, "i'm finally getting a real kitchen" when this is her current kitchen. pic.twitter.com/hNRi7VoTMn
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) January 15, 2024
can't wait to get married and not invite people who thought they were coming
— gen???? (@genmxn) January 15, 2024
I love a good nook. Not too crazy about a cranny
— mir.i.am (@jewbyboobie) January 14, 2024
"incorrect username or password"
— Jenni (@hashjenni) January 18, 2024
BITCH, WHICH ONE IS IT!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/q9qWtSqT3H
"Situationship?" "Soft launch?" "Love bomb?" Are you dating or working for Lockheed Martin?
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) January 14, 2024
I get one glass of wine at dinner and start looking at my friends like this pic.twitter.com/U90hyh0DAW
— Tina Sieben (@wnbawife) January 18, 2024
When I was in college our house got robbed. My roommate took the cops to my room and they said wow they trashed this room and she said no that’s just how she lives. I think about that sometimes.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) January 17, 2024
Waiting for everyone to stop talking so you can announce you’re going home pic.twitter.com/QJLatkc37f
— Dr Sean Travers (@seanjetravers) January 17, 2024
if your family name is already "de Vil" it's on you to not name the baby Cruella
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) January 14, 2024
So someone on Tumblr recommended looking up how Alan Alda met his wife and yep pic.twitter.com/lV3s4cTvXI
— Chappell Ellison (@ChappellTracker) January 16, 2024
Years ago, a nice guy took me on a date. We had a great time. As he pulled in front of my house, he leaned over, tongue extended, and tried to kiss me. I pulled away. He said: “I knew it. You’re afraid of the BIG E.” I asked, “What’s the BIG E?”???? He replied: “INTIMACY.” ????????????????
— Zondra Hughes-Ali (@ZondraHughes) January 14, 2024
i’m a reader, of course i’ll read books at the most inconvenient time instead of in my free time
— mau (@villainsaints) January 18, 2024
my mom: so are you planning on giving me grandchildren any time soon?
— Riley ???????? (@RiledUpForSwift) January 14, 2024
me: pic.twitter.com/u1OszvQSgM
sorry boss i can’t come in to work today i feel really insecure
— clare (@sadderlizards) January 17, 2024
