Hilaria Baldwin Says ADHD is The Reason for Her Accent Mix-Up
Hilaria Baldwin is addressing her controversial accent.
For years, many have questioned the 41-year-old reality star’s heritage as her Hispanic accent goes in and out, she often confuses and forgets how to say certain words in English, went by “Hilary” before 2009, and grew up primarily in Boston, Mass.
In an expert for her new memoir Manual Not Included, Hilaria, who is married to Alec Baldwin, explained that her ADHD diagnosis is to blame for her accent mix-ups.
Keep reading to find out more… “When I get stuck or go off on tangents and forget what I am saying while I am saying it… If you only knew how loud it is in my brain at any given moment!” Hilaria wrote in her memoir, via People. “At that point, I had not discussed any of this publicly. I just existed in a land where sometimes I spoke one language and sometimes I spoke another, sometimes I mixed them and got mixed up, and I never talked about my processing differences. I just tried to be “normal.”
“Growing up being neurodivergent, I had to work harder in school than many of the people around me. I never felt like I was smart in the right way. I am relieved that now there’s less of a stigma around differences in learning and processing,” Hilaria explained. “This has given me the freedom to shed some of the shame I felt for so long. I’m now aware that my brain just works differently and I can really succeed in the right environments and tasks. It’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life, and even though I tried to ignore it, I marvel at how I settled into certain environments where I thrived, like New York City and teaching yoga. I knew I had to stay active in order to function and think clearly.”
She continued, “Now I know that it’s ridiculous that anyone would feel outraged or amused because someone forgot a word. Can you be honest right now, reading this: Have you ever forgotten a word? But back then, I started to really unravel. I was confused. I felt lost. I missed my family. I couldn’t eat. I got very thin. I started to question my sanity. I started to question if I was a good person. I returned to what I used to do as a child, and started to call myself stupid. When I woke up, I wanted to be dead. And I got worse and worse and worse.”
Hilaria then went on to share how her brother was able to help her overcome all the judgement over her accent.
“I’d sit on my bathroom floor, nursing my baby Edu at 3 a.m., and speak to my brother in Spain, and I’d cry to him, nauseous about it all. He’d try to lighten things up by saying, ‘Can we just stop for a second and talk about how nonsensical this is? You’re speaking to me in Spain, where I’ve lived for most of my life, in Spanish, about the validity of our connection to Spain. No one is really offended —it’s COVID, and they are home alone and bored, and there is so much misinformation,’” she explained.
Hilaria, who shares 7 children with Alec, said that’s teaching her kids all about their Spanish heritage.
“I teach my kids Spanish, we eat certain Spanish foods that I grew up eating, and these are comforts to me,” Hilaria wrote. “My brother raised his son in Spain, obviously immersed in Spanish culture and language, and made sure that my nephew spoke English and learned American culture too. Being this way is not taking anything from anyone. It’s just the way that we were raised.”
She also pointed out that many people’s accents change depending on their surroundings, writing, “I read an amazing article in the sports section of the New York Times about pro soccer players and how, when they switch teams to a different country, it’s normal that their accents and voices and speech change and — wait for it — they forget words! Not only did this very insightful article say it’s normal and expected, but it also pointed out that it shows empathy in communication and is a good thing. I love to see these topics spoken about more and more because it’s just true and it hits close to home.
“I am not a male soccer player, though, and, looking back, I have learned that it isn’t just malice and ignorance that led to the insanity I experienced,” she explained. “It really was about a woman and her voice. Taking her voice.”
“Alec was so good to me throughout this time. He had experienced similar situations: people saying awful things about him, trying to destroy him, making others think he was a bad person. He could reach out from a place of real empathy and personal experience. In the middle of the night, I’d wake up and remember what was happening to me. And he was always there,” Hilaria recalled. “He’d know I was awake, and he would hold me close and say, “You’re not alone. I’m here and I love you. And you can cry, because I know how much it hurts. It’s so awful, but just know what they’re saying is not true.”
She continued, “Then he would make me laugh: ‘And even if it were true, it would be stupid and inoffensive. What are you? A spy? You created a fake identity? You immediately learned a new language? To make me fall in love with you? I mean, that is a big effort,” he joked. “Am I worth it? Take it as a compliment: Whatever they are saying you did would make you a genius, and we should use you as a government agent to protect the United States.’”
“For years afterward, when I would hear a recording of my voice, I’d cringe because I hated the sound of it. I took speech therapy to enunciate better. The more I got treatment for the ADHD that I was trying to ignore, the better I got at separating the two languages and not getting as distracted,” Hilaria added. “I tried to improve myself in all the ways the internet trolls had told me I was broken. And then I got to the point where I realized: This is not helping me. I am mixed-up but I am not bad or broken. And then Hilaria returned.”
Hilaria also recently revealed the cosmetic procedure she had after having all 7 of her kids.
Hilaria‘s Manual Not Included is out now.