What TikTok’s ‘Ketchup Challenge’ Actually Says About Your Relationship

First the "orange peel theory," and now this—must we play these mind games?

At first glance, the viral social media trend known as the "ketchup challenge" may sound like TikTok's latest household hack, involving cleaning with the common condiment. And while cleaning is (kind of) part of it, the actual aim appears to be secretly testing a romantic partner.

Similar to the "orange peel theory," the ketchup challenge is being used as a relationship test of sorts, in which one person (usually a woman) intentionally squirts some ketchup on the kitchen counter or a table, then asks their partner (usually a man) to clean it up. Naturally, the whole thing is captured on video and posted to TikTok or Instagram, where commenters are able to weigh in on the man's ability—or lack thereof—to effectively clean a simple mess, rather than smearing it around, making it worse.

Clearly, this is about much more than ketchup, but out of all the relationship "challenges" floating around online, what about this one has struck a nerve? Two clinical psychologists specializing in relationships explain.

What can the ketchup challenge tell us about relationships?

While some of the ketchup challenge videos are clearly staged and designed to garner attention, others are done as an experiment, says Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist focusing on relationships, and the author of the forthcoming The Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached Relationships (March 4, 2024).

"Those who use the ketchup challenge to observe a partner’s authentic response to a kitchen mess are interested in determining whether or not a partner will handle the situation in a mature manner," Manly says. For instance, they may view their partner’s willingness to clean up a kitchen mess as an indicator of their willingness to deal with other messy situations in life, and use the ketchup challenge as a test of their partner’s overall level of emotional maturity.  "However, as [a] psychologist, it’s unlikely that a partner’s response in one ketchup challenge correlates with their overall ability to manage other aspects of their lives in healthy ways."

While Manly says that it’s natural to unconsciously test your partner in a relationship—especially during the getting-to-know-you stages—if you're doing so consciously, and on a regular basis, it can be a sign of passive-aggressiveness, a fear of open communication, or potentially controlling behaviors.

Plus, there are probably better ways to address issues with your partner.

"These social media tests are not an effective way of assessing your relationship," says Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship issues and stress management, and author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety (2021). "It's completely bizarre to intentionally make a mess, and then, without explanation, ask your partner to clean it up."

Why has the ketchup challenge struck a nerve with so many people? 

In some cases, a person's response to the ketchup challenge can be evidence of overtly negative behaviors, like laziness or purposeful incompetence, Manly explains. "When red-flag issues such as intentional incompetence arise, many people—especially women who tend to experience imbalance in their relationships—may feel quite triggered," she says. "As well, feelings of anger and irritation can arise when ketchup challenges reveal a truly passive-aggressive streak."

In addition to being passive-aggressive, Carmichael says, tests like these can be "a little bit dysfunctional" as well as "rather intrusive and disrespectful"—especially if one partner is filming the other without their consent. "I would say that with the caveat, though, that every relationship is different. And certain couples may have a habit of playing jokes on each other purely for entertainment, and there's no hidden subtext or greater conversation: just a totally meaningless prank."

Can the ketchup challenge actually be useful?

Most people probably aren't making major decisions about their relationship based on a social media challenge involving ketchup. But even if it starts out entirely as a joke, there's no guarantee that it won't stir up longstanding issues or resentment.

"It’s important to remember that experiments such as the ketchup challenge are best used to evoke humor, discussion, and connection in a relationship," Manly says. "If you create an experiment and like—or don’t like—your partner’s response, use the outcome as a connective relationship-building experience."

Alternatively, Carmichael recommends skipping the ketchup altogether, and having a straightforward conversation with your partner about each of your contributions to household labor—including how to share responsibility together.