Can AI save dating apps?

Frustration with dating apps isn't hard to find in 2025. Between talk of dating app fatigue and dating apps becoming increasingly similar online, you can hardly swipe on your FYP without some complaint about being on "the apps."

Dating app executives seem to be aware of this. Both Hinge's CEO and Bumble's former CEO mentioned burnout and exhaustion, respectively, and Tinder is enlisting influencers to try to entice young adults into swiping. 

Increasingly, new feature drops utilize AI, at least in their marketing. Could AI be the way to save dating apps?

Why dating sucks right now

Tinder launched in 2012, and since then, it and other dating apps have reshaped how singles meet. Now, according to the Pew Research Center, one in ten partnered adults met their partners on a dating app, and that figure increases for adults under 30 and LGBTQ people.

Despite some people having success on dating apps (if success to you means meeting a partner), users complain about them for multiple reasons. 

One is "swipe fatigue," the feeling that you're repeating the motions and it's not leading to meaningful outcomes, according to sexologist, sociologist, and relationship expert Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus. 

Then there's the issue of having an amazing interaction with someone on the app, but then you meet them in person and they can't carry a conversation. "I could see how dating apps could feel less and less authentic because they're more and more curated," Gunsaullus said. "That gets frustrating."

Gunsaullus also mentioned the paradox of choice: When presented with many options, we can have more trouble deciding on one than if we were only presented with two or three options. 

This abundance of choice, coupled with how photo-focused the most popular apps are, can lead to feeling like these interactions are superficial. Snap judgments about a whole person based on a profile can lead to bad behavior (like ghosting) and feelings of rejection and jadedness, said Gunsaullus, a PhD in sociology.

Trust in dating apps has also waned in recent years. Last year, Match Group was sued in a class action lawsuit claiming that its platforms are "addictive" and "predatory" and that it prioritizes spending more time and money on the app than facilitating matches. (Match Group is a conglomerate that owns Tinder, Hinge, and other dating apps.) The lawsuit has since been sent to arbitration.

A common gripe in recent years is that dating apps paywalled good features that used to be free.

"Match Group has slowly put more and more things behind the paywall, removed useful features, and a lot of the apps have become homogenized," said custom software developer and dating app user Ben Smith. Like other app users, Smith blamed encroaching paywalls on companies' incentives to monetize. 

Match Group, like Bumble, is publicly traded, and waning public opinion for dating apps may be reflected in the stock market: Prices for Match Group and Bumble have fallen in the last year as of publication. Despite Bumble's stock price being up in the last six months, its CEO is out after a year to be replaced by founder Whitney Wolfe Herd, and Match Group just announced a new CEO too. (Grindr, which is also publicly traded, is also up in the last year.)

In the UK, major apps also saw a decrease in users year-over-year from 2023 to 2024: Tinder lost 600,000 users, while Bumble lost 368,000, and Hinge lost 131,000, according to UK communications watchdog Ofcom.

A spokesperson for Bumble said they had nothing to share with Mashable about the stock market or user loss. Match Group wouldn't confirm or deny third-party data, but did share that Hinge's monthly active users are up 20 percent year over year. Tinder's monthly active users are down, which it attributes to safety enhancements.

Additionally, distrust about AI has entered the mix: How are apps training AI? What data is it using? What data is it storing? These answers are sometimes answered in an app's privacy policy, but not always.

Dating coach Erika Ettin said daters she knows aren't comfortable using Tinder's Photo Selector tool. According to Tinder's Photo Selector FAQ, the tool requires access to a user's partial or full camera library to pick out the "best" photos. This is done on-device, and Tinder only stores photos you pick to go on your profile, but Ettin said it "creeps [her] out a little."

"On Tinder, users can take advantage of Photo Selector when they're having trouble picking a profile pic. We found that 52 percent of singles struggle with choosing the perfect photo, and this AI-driven feature takes the hassle out of the process," a Tinder spokesperson told Mashable. "And at the end, you still have the final say on which photo gets uploaded."

But maybe dating apps suck because dating itself sucks.

"All of this shifting attention from 'the apps don't work in terms of long-term relationship building' is really just a smokescreen for what really has been going on forever," said relationship and online dating expert Dr. Jess Carbino, "which is people have frustrations with dating."

There hasn't been a significant innovation in the online dating space since Tinder's development in 2012, Carbino said. Carbino, a PhD in sociology, used to work as a sociologist for Tinder and Bumble. "This [AI] is truly the new frontier."

Pros of AI features on dating apps

What AI can be useful for is weeding out spam and inappropriate messages. Bumble's Deception Detector (which weeds out spam and fake accounts) and Private Detector (which finds and blurs lewd images) are examples. The app told Mashable that it blocked over 2.2 million spam, scam, and inauthentic profiles in 2024. Tinder has several ways to red flag bad behavior, like "Are You Sure?" (to stop a user from sending a potentially harmful message) and "Does This Bother You?" (to let a user on the receiving end report a harmful message). Hinge has similar features to detect harmful or illegal behavior on the app.

Carbino is hopeful that AI features and development will help apps deliver better matches to people and initial messaging between strangers. "I think that this is just a way of enhancing the experience that's fundamental and the steps that are necessary to do what dating apps are meant to do, which is to create connections," she said. "And then people have to take it from there."

Gunsaullus agrees that AI algorithms could lead to better matches. She also likes the idea of using AI as a coach to help daters learn some communication skills.

Potential drawbacks of AI dating features

While Gunsaullus thinks AI has the potential to be a helpful coach, the initial use of AI in dating isn't as helpful. When you have ChatGPT write messages for you, for example, you're not developing skills of talking to strangers — and you're not presenting your true self to a match. It's like posting highly-filtered photos of yourself.

"We have filters now for people's personalities and communication skills or lack of skills," Gunsaullus said, and those skills take time, commitment, and a willingness to be bad at first to learn.

It's understandable why young people are especially drawn to AI features during COVID lockdowns, given their reliance on phones for social interaction. While face-to-face interaction is best for combatting loneliness, according to experts, digital interactions fill in the gaps when you can't be around each other in person. Early research suggests that this has had negative impacts on social skills. 

Putting yourself out there in person is vulnerable and can be awkward, and young people may not want to do it. But, because of this, digital dependency may continue to get worse due to AI, Gunsaullus said. While relying on technology like AI is easy and convenient and allows us to be less vulnerable and awkward, that may not breed happiness and well-being in the long run.

Ettin personally doesn't like AI features on dating apps and doesn't think they've greatly improved their usage. 

"In my opinion, all of the sites would be better off hiring a bunch of me's or a bunch of experts on how to use the apps and coaches to do a seminar or help people in a group setting," she said. "It'd save a lot of money and it would be a lot more personal."

Smith, meanwhile, is very pro-AI and believes it's going to transform the world to a greater extent than the internet did. However, he also believes we're currently in the trough of disillusionment stage of the hype cycle around AI, meaning interest is waning as early adaptation of AI fails to deliver.

"Right now, we are in the painful buzzword phase where everyone is just tossing it into their products and hoping that it makes the number go up," Smith said. "But once we get through this, the trough of disillusionment, we'll start getting actual innovation that actually makes them better."

Both Tinder CEO Faye Iosolatuno and Hinge CEO Justin McLeod mentioned the use of AI at Match Group's Investor Day back in December, suggesting that AI features aren't going away on the major dating apps. 

Can we even meet 'offline'?

You might see someone on TikTok bemoan that they just want to meet their partner "organically" — aka having an offline meet cute. But it may not be that easy. 

Social, economic, and demographical reasons make technology the mechanism or institution we rely upon to meet people, Carbino said. For example, fewer people live in their neighborhood of origin as they did in the past, breaking the social ties they have there. Fewer people are going to religious places of worship, which used to be a prime place to meet a partner. 

At the same time, young adults have less financial independence than in years past. They live at home with parents longer than previous generations, making it potentially harder to date in-person.

Not to mention that people just spend a lot of time on their phones.

"I think that technology is going to be more and more present because no other institution that we have seen historically has intervened or developed in a way in recent years to overcome that," Carbino said.

Despite daters' frustrations, Ettin doesn't think they'll quit the apps. Dating apps aren't at fault for the issues people have with them — like people looking at you more like a commodity than an individual, or people thinking there's someone better around the corner, she said. 

"I think it's human nature," said Ettin, "and technology and wanting instant gratification."

Even though there is annoyance over meeting people online, where else do singles find supper clubs, speed dating events, or ClassPass's Valentine's Day singles event? Online.

"What's ironic to me is that the ways people are now trying to meet in person are harnessing technology," Carbino said. "Digital is IRL, and IRL is digital. You can't divorce the two."

Daters are inherently curious about AI and are open to the idea that it can be helpful. "I think that people want to be hopeful," said Carbino. "That's why they stay on the apps."