‘My son went missing 19 years ago. I’m determined to find out the truth’

When Nicki Durbin moved to Ipswich ten years ago, she painted her office blue. It was only when she started to unpack boxes that she realised what she had done. The walls were the exact same shade of blue as those in the former bedroom of her son Luke, who vanished in 2006. 

‘I didn’t do it consciously,’ Nicki tells Metro. ‘I suddenly looked around and saw I had replicated the colour of Luke’s room.

‘I did keep some of his things when we moved, like his guitar. Luke loved music. His most prized possession was his motorbike, which we sold after he disappeared. My dad had said at the time “we can buy him a new one when he comes home.”’ 

Luke, who disappeared when he was 19, never did return to his family in the East Suffolk village of Hollesley. Over the years, there have been rumours of drug feuds, arrests without convictions and years of anguish for Nicki and her family. She is determined to find out the truth. 

‘He always had something smart to say’ 

‘Luke as a little boy was reserved, very intelligent,’ Nicki recalls. ‘It was obvious early on that he was incredibly bright. He went to a tiny primary school in Bawdsey where he thrived and became a lot more social. 

‘Then Luke went off to Farlingaye High School, where his friend circle widened. He was very sharp, he always had something smart to say. Luke didn’t really get into trouble, even when he didn’t concentrate in class, and I think that is because of his wit and the way he could say things to get him off the hook.’ 

One of Nicki’s fondest memories came when at a concert at his high school in Woodbridge. There, an 11-year-old boy had become entirely overcome by nerves and couldn’t tune his guitar. Luke, who was helping out at the concert, dashed on stage to help him without a second’s hesitation. 

Her son’s love of music led him to enroll in a music technology course at Colchester college in Essex. But the long commute took its toll, the teenager would occasionally fall asleep on the train and find himself stuck in London. Luke dropped out in 2005 and, after a series of odd jobs, landed work at a deli in the town of Aldeburgh, 16 miles from Hollesley.

He had a ‘great boss’ and drove a motorbike to and from his shifts. He would often bring home food and make his mum Nicki, 37 at the time, and sister Alicia, 16, at the time, meals.  

Six weeks after landing the deli job, Luke was gone.  

‘We don’t know which way he turned’ 

In the Durbin household on Coronation Avenue, it was common to shout out ‘bye, have a lovely night, love you,’ when someone headed out. When Luke said that to his mother on Thursday, May 11, 2006 she replied ‘don’t drink and drive.’ Those were the last words she ever said to her son. 

Luke had taken Friday off work in anticipation for a big night out on the Thursday, with his friend Alex, a chef in London who was in the nearby town of Woodbridge for a few days. Meanwhile, Nicki and Luke’s sister, Alicia, had enjoyed supper at a friend’s on the Thursday and had gone out separately in Woodbridge on the Friday. 

‘I had a great night,’ Nicki recalls of the bittersweet joy she felt that night. ‘I met Alicia out in town and then bumped into my dad randomly. I remember thinking “Oh, I wonder if Luke is around.”’ Unbeknown to Nicki or Alicia, Luke had in fact vanished. 

On Thursday, the 19-year-old had ridden his motorbike to Woodbridge where he left his phone and wallet at a friend’s flat as he was worried he might lose them. A last minute decision, the group travelled ten miles by taxi into Ipswich and made their way to the Zest nightclub, a popular venue near the  train station. Luke, dressed in a grey sweatshirt, blue jeans and brown suede shoes, got separated from his friends and found himself alone without any money. 

‘I’ve had to watch heart-breaking blurry footage of Luke walking out the nightclub around 2am,’ Nicki remembers. ‘He just stands there for a bit, looking around and clearly trying to find his friends. Two policemen were talking to someone right behind him. Luke then tried to find a way back to Woodbridge. He went to the train station, but there were no trains running. He walked to a taxi firm at 3.40am, where he literally emptied his pockets to show he had no money.  

‘The last CCTV image of Luke was captured at 4am at a zebra crossing on Dog’s Head Street in Ipswich. Of course, we don’t know which way he turned after he crossed. But as he had gone to every other transport place he could think of, it just seemed logical he was trying to get a bus.’ 

Luke’s friends initially thought he may have gone home with a girl after their night out, so weren’t too worried. But when time dragged on and he didn’t return to Woodbridge to fetch his motorbike and belongings, they contacted his sister on Saturday, May 13. Alicia passed on the message to Nicki who called the deli in Aldeburgh and found out he had been a no-show. Knowing Luke would never want to disappoint his boss like that, she realised something was wrong and contacted the police. 

A drug deal gone wrong? 

For the first few months, having no experience of how a missing person case is managed, Nicki had to put her faith in the police. As the weeks turned into months, she felt that the investigation into Luke’s disappearance was not being given the resources needed. After numerous meetings, Luke’s case was taken over by the Major Investigation Team – four-and-a-half years after he went missing. 

Detectives discovered that Luke had done a drug deal in Woodbridge before he met his friends. Ironically, in 2007 Nicki had read on social media site Bebo that Luke was involved in drugs, but her concerns had been brushed off at the time by Suffolk Police. She knew her son had smoked cannabis in the past, but had no clue he was involved in anything more serious. 

One theory suggests Luke owed money and that someone at Zest – which closed down in December 2006 after a man was fatally shot on the dancefloor  – alerted someone dangerous that he was there. Others have suggested he was murdered, or that he was taken to London to pay off a drug debt or that he was picked up by an unmarked taxi. 

‘I’ve had hundreds, thousands of theories,’ Nicki, who works with a local authority , says. ‘I’ve thought of every scenario there is over and over. Sometimes I think it could have been a hit and run. There was a silver Volvo seen at 4.08am, just down the road from where Luke was last seen. I’m sure the driver of that vehicle has something to d with Luke’s disappearance.

‘Luke was picked up on CCTV in the middle of the town centre and then seemingly vanishes. Police found out the car had a false address and number plate.’ 

Nicki had to go back to her work at a lettings agency a week after her son vanished to support herself and Alicia. But outside of work, she poured all her energy into finding Luke. She set up a website, reached out to police and worked with Luke’s friends to distribute leaflets at concerts in Ipswich which attracted young fans: such as the Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers, both bands Luke loved.  

She speaks of wearing a ‘mask’ to carry on despite the hurt she was feeling. 

Reflecting, she adds: ‘I think the police assumed that, because I was working class and a single parent, that I’d go away and leave them alone. But I became a lioness; it’s not about strength when your child vanishes, it’s about love.  

‘I was, and still am, good at putting on a mask to function. I’d be like “okay, we’re talking facts now.   I have to try and remove the emotions to talk factually  about my potentially murdered son. Believe me, it’s taken years of practice and doesn’t always work”  

‘Sometimes I look back and think, “I don’t know how I did that.” I could be on my knees, sometimes in a heap on the floor. It just feels so s*** that my son, more than likely, has lost his life. I remember Luke wanted to be an organ donor, we talked about that when he got the motorbike. But he didn’t even have the privilege to do that because we’ve never found him. I may seem resilient but the pain of living with a missing child is relentless..’ 

The ‘white whale’ of cold cases 

On May 12, 2006, police received a report that a young man who matched Luke’s description had walked past Foxhall Stadium in Ipswich around 7.30am. A day later, two people rang detectives to say they’d seen Luke in the passenger seat of a dark blue car in Woodbridge. 

In 2007, there was another sighting. One of Luke’s former classmates l was convinced she’d seen the 19-year-old outside the Aldwych Theatre in Drury Lane, London, on May 3. Nicki travelled to the capital full of hope and visited homeless shelters and hostels in case her son was there. But her search proved fruitless.  

In 2012, there was another glimmer of hope. Two men, a 40-year-old and a 25-year-old, were arrested on suspicion of murdering Luke. But they were later released without charge. When Metro contacted Suffolk Police for the latest update on the Durbin case, Unsolved Case Manager Andy Guy told Metro: ‘We continue to appeal for anyone with information that may assist in the discovery of Luke’s whereabouts, or that links any person to his disappearance.

Two arrests were made in 2012 and a number of others have been subjects of interview since 2006, but no further action has been taken against these individuals. Many people who knew Luke have come forward over the years, however, I suspect there are still some who have not told us what they know in relation to Luke’s disappearance.’ 

‘This is my white whale of cold cases,’ wrote one user when the Luke Durbin case was posted on the popular ‘Unsolved Mysteries Reddit’ thread. Meanwhile another user stated: ‘His mother seems like a really cool lady. I’m happy she is involved with helping others. I hope someone grows some and talks.’ 

Nicki maintains her son did not go missing of his own accord and has ruled out suicide. She encourages anyone with information, no matter how big or small it may seem, to contact the police. 

‘Luke will never be forgotten’ 

Nicki has campaigned with the charity Missing People to demand better support for families like hers. In 2008, she organised ‘March for the Missing’ alongside her close friend Valerie Nettles whose son, Damien, vanished in 1996. And in 2012, Nicki worked as a call-handler at Missing People, renting out a room in her Ipswich home so she could afford to travel into London for the role.  

Nicki credits her loved ones, such as  her close friends and family, for helping her get through the last 18 years.

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On social media she posts photos of Luke alongside contact details for Suffolk Police’s Major Crime Review Team, in a bid to keep her son’s name in the spotlight.

Her most recent post on Instagram came on December 4, 2024 on what would have been Luke’s 38th birthday. Nicki shared a picture of a note he had written just a few weeks before his disappearance, when he was optimistic about his future following his exciting new job at the deli. The note read ‘Dear Mum, Thank you, I owe you my life and more. Lukey Luke.’ 

Nicki says: ‘One of his friends commented on the post and wrote “Luke will never be forgotten.” I can’t tell you how much that means to me. My son is so much more than a boy on a missing person’s poster.  

‘I would not believe it if, on May 13, 2006 when I reported Luke missing, you’d told me that I’d still be alive all these years later and have not found him. This is the most horrendous journey and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.’ 

The investigation into Luke’s disappearance is now managed by the Joint Norfolk & Suffolk Major Crime Review and Unsolved Case Team.

A Suffolk Police spokesperson told Metro: ‘We are extremely keen to get the much needed closure for all of Luke’s family and friends to understand what happened to him.’

If you have any information about Luke Durbin’s disappearance, please contact Suffolk Police or Missing People. To follow Nicki’s fight to find her son, you can follow the ‘Find Luke’ Instagram page 

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Kirsten.Robertson@metro.co.uk 

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