Hey Mainstream Media, Other Climbers Exist Besides Alex Honnold

Dear David Letterman, Netflix, and Other Members of the Mainstream Media to Whom This May Concern,

Alex Honnold is the most famous climber in the world—and he has officially also become the busiest. Just this month, we learned that he was scoping out the moves on Taipei 101, the tallest skyscraper in Taiwan, in preparation for his livestreamed free solo on Netflix early next year.

Days after that, we watched Honnold emerge unscathed from Nevada’s terrifying Clown Motel as a teaser for a new show in which the man who “never stops exploring” (per his sponsorship contract with The North Face) surveys the great state of Nevada, where he lives.

Moments later, we discovered that Honnold is hosting the newest season of a podcast called Planet Visionaries about “pioneers who push the boundaries of human endeavour.”

Then today, on Honnold’s other podcast, Climbing Gold, an episode dropped featuring a conversation recorded live between you—David Letterman—and America’s Favorite Climber. Sure, this episode was recorded a year ago. But it reinforced a couple increasingly clear truths: 1) Mainstream media is under the impression that Alex Honnold is the only viable spokesperson of climbing to the masses, and 2) Honnold has become far too busy for someone of his physical talents.

There is solid proof that Honnold is still, in fact, rock climbing—and hard. Just the other day, he apparently got sandbagged—a climber’s term for getting roped into an adventure harder than expected—by none other than his best friend Cedar Wright. A recovering Yosemite Stone Monkey and climbing storyteller, Wright evidently commissioned Honnold to solo some “mellow” routes in Red Rock with him.

But think of what Honnold could be climbing, if his schedule weren’t absolutely dominated by media appearances and public speaking events. Where is the people’s Free Solo 2? The other disadvantage of always calling up Honnold for the climber’s take is that the general populace is fast forming an unfairly narrow view of the sport of climbing.

For those and more reasons, we are putting forth some suggestions for the mainstream media to consider the next time they need a quote, interviewee, or Hollywood cameo from a climber. Because increasingly, there are a lot of climbers out there—many of them quite good, some of them articulate and even funny. So give Honnold a breather and refer to this curated talent directory of equally charismatic megastars of the climbing world.

1. Hazel Findlay

Best for: Questions on climbing in the UK, really hard climbing, and falling

Known for: Climbing brutally hard traditional routes (placing gear for protection vs. clipping bolts)

Why we recommend her: Findlay is as strong as they come and will wow your readers or listeners with her calm and collected vibe, plus insights on systematically training yourself to take massive falls without fear.

2. Tom Randall

Best for: Questions about anything related to a crack, whether natural or urban

Known for: Being one half of the “Wide Boyz,” a riotously hilarious friendship rooted in spending massive amounts of time in a handmade crack in a cellar in order to train for real cracks on rock

Why we recommend him: Randall has a sense of humor that the average human will love! If your studio or stage has any cracks ranging from around .5 inch to around five feet wide, he can even climb them while a live audience watches in awe.

3. Michaela Kiersch

Best for: Questions on climbing impossible boulders, healing bloody fingers, and clapping back at misogynistic Internet comments

Known for: Becoming the first woman to climb 5.15 (the top of the roped climbing grading spectrum) and V15 (almost the hardest grade a boulder can get)

Why we recommend her: If you’re looking for relatable, Kiersch is your girl. Originally from Chicago and currently an occupational therapist, she is well-versed in how to speak the language of non-climbers so she doesn’t alienate your readers or listeners with mystical words like “small box” or “spraydown.”

4. Sean Villanueva O’Driscoll

Best for: Questions on climbing big things in other countries, often in very cold temperatures

Known for: First ascents in Patagonia and Greenland

Why we recommend him: Is he Irish? Is he Belgian? Is he even real? A triple nominee for the “Oscars of alpinism” this year, Villanueva O’Driscoll might just be The Most Interesting Man in the World (of the climbing world). He can be a little camera shy, but ask him to tell you a story about almost dying and you’ll break the ice faster than he can climb it.

5. Yvon Chouinard

Best for: Questions on what it was like “back in the day” of the Yosemite Stonemaster, or about antiquated equipment like the piton

Known for: Founding the company Patagonia, spending over a month in a remote ice cave, being the ultimate dirtbag

Why we recommend him: Not only is Chouinard the ultimate dirtbag of yore, but he is also still alive—rare for a Stonemaster! Catch him while you can to get these stories on record for the history books.

6. Chris Sharma

Best for: Questions on climbing cliffs above open water (aka, deep water soloing), living the climbing lifestyle abroad, philosophy

Known for: Climbing the hardest routes in the world, getting disqualified from a competition for marijuana usage, and hosting the HBO show The Climb

Why we recommend him: Sharma will have your audience hooked on every word as he waxes poetic about the transformative freedom of climbing something really hard as the waves crash below. He is a climber’s climber, strongly evocative of ‘90s nostalgia that is very on-trend right now.

7. Anna Hazelnutt

Best for: Questions on slab climbing (i.e., no holds, just a face to balance your way up), big wall climbing, and risking huge falls on tiny holds

Known for: Sending hard slab routes, from the UK to Madagascar

Why we recommend her: Is there a better climber for the big screen? We doubt it. Hazelnutt is adept at telling climbing stories that make inhabitants of the vertical and horizontal worlds alike laugh. In addition to changing the color of her hair seasonally, Hazelnutt is sure to deliver some strong soundbites for your non-climbing audience.

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