Alright, who wants to spot me $1,000 for this absurdly sumptuous Elden Ring lore book?

Here's my confession: I don't have any idea what's happening. In real life, yes, but also in every FromSoft game I've ever played bar Sekiro (there is a small lordly boy and he urgently needs me to stab everyone). I just kind of amble from room to room and kill whatever I find there. It's a simple, caveman-like way to enjoy Miyazaki and co's work, but it's enough for me.

Well, no more. I'm gonna bone up on my Lands Between history with a new, thoroughly unofficial lore book (via GamesRadar) courtesy of Geoff "SmoughTown" Truscott. It's called Grace Given and, oh my, it sure is pretty.

Also, oh my, it sure is pricey. Specifically, it's a full-on £215 (around $275) for the cheapest edition, climbing up to £602 (~$775) and £859 (~$1,110) for its "Limited" and "Benefactor" editions respectively. The Limited edition comes with an art print and anyone forking over for the Benefactor tier will get their name in the back of the book, and both the pricier versions are made from slightly fancier materials and have gold-edge gilding.

The book actually launches in 2025, so this is all preorder stuff right now, but once it hits it'll contain a "comprehensive deep dive into the mythology underpinning Miyazaki's latest masterpiece." Imagine being such a creative titan you have a "latest" masterpiece, not just the one. Like you can toss them off casually, without thinking.

The book is also, like I said, absolutely gorgeous. It looks like some kind of handmade, filigreed Bible out of a pre-industrial scriptorium, embossed with Elden Ring character faces and adorned on the front with a lovely artwork of—here's where me not knowing anything about who anyone is in these games comes in—some guy with a sword and a horse on the front cover.

It's an absurd and expensive luxury—the kind Elden Ring seemingly generates by its very nature—but I admit I am kind of tempted. Unfortunately, the millions of pounds I make from games journalism have all been spent on designer drugs and the menagerie of endangered animals I write all my articles from, so I guess I'll have to save up or solicit donations. Please, it's for a good cause.