Dear JD Vance…

By Sharon Synowsky

Dear JD,

Don’t worry Guyliner, I’m not here to roast you. I have two sons, I’m no crazy cat lady, so chill. ACTUALLY, I’m down with the whole “you can’t hold office if you haven’t birthed a child” thing.

As long as every male in office resigns his seat.

You suggested that someone can only vote if they have children, and the children should get to vote, through their parents. Basically, each child a person has is another vote that parent has (yeah, I caught that subliminal ‘big family’ incentive. Don’t worry, I won’t tell. *zips lip*).

Yeah, I’m down with that too

As long as:

A. A man cannot vote until his youngest child is 7 years old, so long as he has, AT THE VERY LEAST, supported the children financially.

B. If a man abuses the children AND/OR their mother, his vote automatically goes to the woman, FOR LIFE.

C. If a man commits ANY crime against ANY woman, he loses his right to vote, to her, FOR LIFE. If he commits a crime against multiple women, EACH woman gets another vote. More than one crime? Each woman gets another vote for EACH crime he committed against her. So, rape and beat 5 women? 10 votes go to those 5 women.

D. Women are the ones who decide how the children vote. We’re the ones who actually birth the children.

E. All women have the potential to birth a child. By virtue of that fact, ALL women get their right to vote, FOR LIFE, regardless of birthing status

F. Since you want to banish birth control b/c every egg has the potential to become a child, & a woman is born with roughly 1 to 2 million eggs, she gets those votes, too.
Why?

Because she bleeds once a month OR births a child to discharge her egg.

A man can discharge his sperm into anyone/anything at any time.

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