The Miami Marlins have an amazing deal on the world’s saddest tacos

These are tragic.

I’ll give a pass to a lot of teams when it comes to shitty stadium concessions food, but I cannot in good conscious abide by this from the Marlins.

So, on the surface this is a good deal. A ticket to a game, two tacos and a beer for $25 is unquestionably a steal. The issue is that these tacos are beyond tragic. We’re all conditioned to believe that food looks better in photos than real life, so what does this mean for these tacos? I hesitate to even call these tacos, because they’re more like found tortillas filled with a tablespoon of shredded chicken and topped with some hastily pickled onions.

These are tacos for people who think ketchup is spicy.

These are tacos for individuals who don’t use the seasoning packet in a mild taco kit because it’s too much heat.

This is an affront because YOU PLAY IN MIAMI! I visited Miami for the first time last year and was absolutely blown away by the food. Glorious beachside ceviche, stunning latin cuisine ... I went to this small Cuban restaurant in a strip mall next to a head shop and had some Vaca Frita (fried steak) so good I still dream about.

You might be able to pull these sad tacos somewhere in America, but I don’t even think that’s possible. Hell, I’m living in rural-ass Illinois right now while my wife finishes up her pHD and even our local Mexican restaurant has some tacos al pastor rich in smoked flavor, with homemade corn tortillas and just the right amount of cabbage and radish for crunch. They wouldn’t dream of putting this sad prison taco on the menu.

So, by all means take advantage of this deal, just be aware it’s kind of tragic.