Toad’s mushroom cap is his head, and ‘Mario Strikers: Battle League’ proves it

Does this settle the age old debate?

I’ve been playing Mario Strikers: Battle League with my daughter this week and it’s a delight. Sure, there’s not a whole lot of content — but the joy of getting to play a co-op sports game with my 5-year-old easily makes up for its lack of depth.

The other night we were equipping gear to our team. She chose new boots for Peach, I gave Waluigi a visor that makes him look like the saddest frat boy, as one does, when I came across this.

Ignore the term “muscle chest” for a second because the concept of a ripped Toad is frankly disgusting. Let’s concentrate on the helmet here. This is the muscle helmet, it boosts his paltry child strength. It also proves his head is the mushroom cap, and not a hat.

I know this has been debated for an extremely long time. The head vs. hat argument dates back years. However, I think a sporting application in Mario Strikers: Battle League proves that toad’s head, is indeed, the cap itself.

We’ve seen hats on Toad before. There’s nothing inherently wrong with the “two hat” theory, if that’s what you prescribe to. However, whether it’s donning an explorer’s helmet as Captain Toad, or picking up a power up in a co-op game of New Super Marios Bros. nothing has an inherent safety purpose as a hat like the helmets in Mario Strikers.

If you believe the muscle helmet pictured above was designed to evoke the Toad head without needing to protect the cap, think again. Motosport.com breaks down sizing a motorcycle helmet, which the Muscle Helmet is inspired by, and they clearly state that nobody should wear a helmet that is too large for their head.

“There should be no “hot spots” - places where the helmet’s interior puts pressure on specific points of the skull or face - but it should not move around freely. With time, a helmet adjusts to match the shape of the rider’s head as it is worn, “breaks-in” and loosens a little. However, it should never become loose enough to easily turn from side to side.”

If you prescribe to the “cap is a hat” theory then Toad has a narrow, rounded head that resembles an uncooked hot dog. There is no way he could wear a helmet that large without causing it to spin around. Do you think Toad is a rule breaker who would flaunt safety? I don’t.

That’s just one example though, look at the trick helmet.

This clearly evokes a lighter weight cycling helmet, and offers essentially a shell to protect Toad’s head — which is his mushroom cap. If the cap was a hat under a shell helmet it would offer not protection, almost identically to the muscle helmet above.

The denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom decided to have a nice friendly game of soccer where you can punch each other, push your opponents into electric fences, and in the case of Wario, fart the ball into the goal. They understand the need for safety, which is why they invented the entire helmet system in the first place. Toad, knowing he had the largest head, devised large helmets to accommodate his giant cap. In doing so he answered an age old question ...

It’s his head, folks.