In Retrospect, You Should Have Known That Was Not Marco Rubio

A Marco Rubio impostor is using AI voice to call high-level officials

The unknown individual contacted at least five government officials, including three foreign ministers, a U.S. governor, and a member of Congress, according to a State Department cable.

— The Washington Post

BE ON THE ALERT! AN IMPOSTOR POSING AS MARCO RUBIO HAS BEEN PLACING SPAM CALLS AND YOU MIGHT BE NEXT! KNOW THE SIGNS THAT THE CALL YOU ARE RECEIVING IS AN AI IMPOSTOR AND NOT MARCO RUBIO!

• At no point in the call does the caller stop to aggressively drink bottled water.
• The caller asks you to wire cash to him rather than simply purchase $TrumpCoin.  
• Caller keeps insisting that the word strawberry has no r’s in it, becomes belligerent.
• In the background of the call, you can hear the sounds of the caller’s happy vertebrae flourishing in his strong backbone.
• Caller says, “I believe in the First Amendment and due-process rights for all, including those on student visas.”
• Caller announces, “Why, just leaving you this voicemail cost dozens of bottles of clean water, and I don’t just mean what I deprived people of by closing USAID.”
• Caller says, “Remember my Substack post explaining that USAID was over? Where I said, with a straight face, that we should end aid because the ‘Department has consistently heard the same from people in these nations: a Zambian man told American diplomats it would be more helpful for his countrymen to learn how to fish than to be supplied with fish by the U.S. Government, an Ethiopian woman said she viewed the mutual benefits of investment as superior to the one-sided nature of aid, and too many other examples to recount.’ Too many other examples to recount! I’m shutting down USAID and I can’t be bothered to recount more examples than these two bizarre paraphrases of nameless individuals? Sometimes I disgust myself.”
• “Candidly, I am in charge of too many things.”
• “Don’t really love this Pete Hegseth guy.”
• Call comes at 2:40 a.m. Long, tormented pause followed by a shaky breath, followed by a voice saying, “I just … when I think about what we did to USAID, I think, maybe I’ll never sleep again. Maybe I don’t deserve to. Millions of preventable deaths every year. Millions! Can you even fathom such a number? It didn’t have to be like this. When I think of one preventable death, my palms get clammy and my stomach twists up on itself, and then I try to multiply that in my mind. By the time I get to 20 I feel like retching. I had to tell Congress it was a lie. I said it’s a lie that children are dying because of the actions I’ve taken. I wish I could believe it. It would be easier if I could believe it. If I could just believe the words coming out of my mouth, maybe I would sleep.” Then a long sigh, and then a full hour of silence.
• You can hear the voice on the call telling Donald Trump “No,” even once.