Why Your Phone Made a Horrible Sound This Afternoon

If you had a phone and were within range of a cell tower on Wednesday around 2:20 p.m. ET — which is to say if you’re in the vast majority of Americans — you just had your lunch/meeting/afternoon tryst interrupted. As part of the third-ever nationwide test of the Wireless Emergency Alerts system, all cell phones received a text notification with a “unique tone and vibration,” according to the Federal Emergency Management Agency and Federal Communications Commission, which are running the tests.

“The purpose of the Oct. 4 test is to ensure that the systems continue to be effective means of warning the public about emergencies, particularly those on the national level,” FEMA and the FCC said in a statement. The text will read, “THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed.” Last sent in August 2021, the message was broadcast by cell towers over a roughly 30-minute window, and similar messages ran on radio and television. Many people received the alert a couple of minutes early, which was apparently not an accident:

The alert was so loud that it startled even people who had been prepared:

And of course the jokes flowed:

If the alarm was slightly disruptive, it’s for good reason: The government hasn’t had the best record with these alerts. In 2018, the state of Hawaii sent an emergency alert to all residents after an employee accidentally sent out a message warning that a ballistic missile was in the air heading toward the islands. (“This is not a drill,” the message read, frightening millions.) And while that was a state-level failure, it’s crucial for the federal government to contact Americans when a natural disaster is heading our way.

But not all Americans agree. Conspiracists have been having a field day:

The alleged plot goes like this: The emergency broadcasting system activated graphene oxide particles implanted in people who have been vaccinated against COVID-19, thus activating the Marburg virus, which will cause hundreds of millions of us to suffer hemorrhagic fevers. (Actual Marburg is extremely lethal, killing 88 percent of those who have confirmed cases.) Vice is even reporting that some on social media have said they plan to wrap their phones in aluminum foil during the time of the alert as a way to block any potential nefarious signals.

Back on planet earth: While graphene oxide was used to study the vaccine structure of the mRNA COVID shots, it never ended up in the vaccines themselves.

And after the alert actually went off on Wednesday, there were only isolated reports of zombies on the streets.