8 Bizarre Lessons Kids Can Learn From Letters to Trump
Is Trump’s coffee-table book really appropriate for all ages? Only if you’re okay with exposing kids to wacky takes on Nixon, Xi, and Giuliani.
During this holiday season, Team Trump has been aggressively promoting his coffee-table book Letters to Trump, which came out earlier this year, with BOGO deals and free-calendar offers. If Donald Trump’s epistolary revenge fantasy ended up under your tree, you may be wondering what to do with it now. Considering that his anecdotes often aren’t G-rated, is it really okay to put it on the coffee table for the whole family to enjoy?
The answer, thankfully, is yes. Children are actually part of the intended audience for Letters to Trump — and not just because it’s half–picture book. The opening shot of this commercial from Winning Team Publishing shows a young girl and boy poring over the pages:
And there are plenty of important lessons hidden among the petty celebrity insults and full-page photos of Trump shouting. Here, a sample of what Letters to Trump can teach America’s youth.
Nixon’s big mistake was that he ‘didn’t fight.’
Government schools may have left your kids with the impression that Richard Nixon’s main issue was that he was “a crook” despite his claims to the contrary. Trump explains that in reality, “his problem was intensity.” Sure, Tricky Dick had some anger issues, too, but “his biggest mistake was that he didn’t fight” when congressional leaders told him it was time to step down for the good of the country. Hopefully the kids will sleep a little more soundly knowing that their favorite president, Donald J. Trump, would never repeat this grievous error.
Roy Cohn is a great role model.
Too many kids today are unfamiliar with Roy Cohn. Thankfully, Letters to Trump tells them everything they need to know: Cohn was a “great lawyer,” he was always willing to help his friends, and “when he wanted to win, it was hard to stop him.” Sounds like he was a talented, loyal, and hardworking guy — definitely not the “polestar of human evil”!
Rudy Giuliani is ‘right about so many things.’
Speaking of great lawyers, Letters to Trump informs kids that the scary man they last saw melting on CNN is actually one of our most forward-thinking legal scholars. Sure, months after the publication of this book a jury ordered Rudy Giuliani to pay $148 million to two election workers he defamed. But Trump wrote that many of Giuliani’s claims would be proven correct, not all. And I think we can all agree that “in the end the last few years will prove even more impactful to his legacy than that of being a great mayor.”
Rod Blagojevich was unjustly persecuted.
While it can be uncomfortable, young people need to be able to truthfully confront America’s history of injustice — like how an Illinois governor was sentenced to 14 years in prison just because he tried to sell a Senate seat. Fortunately, Trump commuted Blagojevich’s sentence during his final year in office. And in case the kids are worried about how their favorite ex-con and Celebrity Apprentice contestant is doing today, Trump notes, “I hear he is doing well.”
Joe Paterno ‘got a raw deal.’
Uh … actually, you probably don’t want the kids asking too many questions about this page.
Kim Jong Un ‘just wants to take care of his country.’
Children should learn that just as you can’t judge a book by its cover, you shouldn’t judge a world leader by multiple headlines that describe him as “one of the world’s scariest dictators.”
This page also includes a hot tip for kids hoping to get into real estate someday. Trump writes, “Located in between South Korea, China, and Russia, North Korea has one of the most beautiful coastlines in the world. In the real estate business they call that GREAT LOCATION. He was beginning to see that, but unfortunately we were not able to take it that far.”
Xi Jinping shows sharing is overrated.
Grown-ups are always yapping about being nice and giving everyone a turn. But according to Trump, Xi Jinping demonstrates that ruling “with an iron fist” and refusing to share also have their merits. Xi may lead China “for life,” and Trump says that “anyone who can pull that off deserves lots of credit.” Like, say, a U.S. president?
Trump proves it’s possible to be too talented.
A lot of kids were crushed when they went to see Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps and didn’t spot Donald Trump. In the book, he explains why his cameo was cut: “My role came before a very important scene, and the people at the test went so totally wild with excitement that it obliterated the parts of the movie that followed.” Trump’s star power can be a real burden sometimes!
