Trump Picks Dancing With the Stars Cast, Not a Cabinet
When Donald Trump was filling his first Cabinet back in 2016, his process was widely, and accurately, compared to a casting call for The Apprentice. Previously, staffing the incoming administration had been a careful and secretive undertaking, largely ignored by the general public. But Trump tackled the task like the showman he is. For months, he met with a cavalcade of groveling GOP politicians, opportunistic billionaires, and assorted sycophants. He made sure to parade each aspirant before the media, and even teased on Twitter, “I am the only one who knows who the finalists are!”
Trump is, once again, falling back on his reality-TV roots in his approach to filling his second-term Cabinet. But this time, he isn’t merely adding some showbiz flair to the process. Back in 2016, Trump horrified Democrats and many Republicans by publicly toying with hires like Laura Ingraham, Sarah Palin, Kanye West, and Rudy Giuliani — but he didn’t actually go with his zaniest options. Now the president-elect is far less worried about what Reince Priebus or Mitch McConnell–types think; new Majority Leader John Thune is open to letting him skirt the Senate confirmation process. So Trump going with his gut. And with picks like Kristi Noem, Pete Hegseth, and Elon Musk, it seems Trump’s instinct is to assemble a crew that’s more fit for an all-MAGA Dancing With the Stars than a serious White House Cabinet.
The Celebrity Apprentice may seem like the more obvious blueprint here. But most of the contestants on that show were reasonably competent, and the stakes were fairly low, as they were playing for charity. The DWTS cast tends to be more washed-up, random, and totally unqualified for the task at hand. These characteristics, combined with the high potential for disaster and humiliation, are a much closer comparison for the developing Trump administration 2.0.
So far Trump has only announced a handful of picks for his new Cabinet and other top-administration positions. But they’re already mapping onto archetypes for a good DWTS cast.
All Trump needs is a former athlete, someone from The Bachelor, and the third-billed cast member from an old teen TV drama and this would be an absolutely incredible DWTS season 34. It’s easy to imagine a world where Kristi Noem’s cha cha to “Who Let the Dogs Out” dominates the national conversation while President Harris quietly goes about the incredibly boring business of actually governing. But of course, we’re not living in that reality.
None of this is a dig at Dancing With the Stars, which is entertaining and harmless. We love to watch celebrities get a second chance at success, or embarrass themselves on the national stage. Unfortunately, chances are low that the Trump Cabinet 2.0 will end in anything but disaster. And their stumbles won’t even be that fun to watch. Sure, they’ll be embarrassing for Trump and his cronies, but Americans will feel the consequences, and the humiliation will be shared by everyone who allowed him to get back in the producer’s chair.