Top 7 Stanford study spots

Hear ye, hear ye! I hear the bells of finals tolling ominously for all who dare ignore them. Recently, a lot of my friends have confessed they’re tired of the same old study spots (but, to be honest, they’re probably just tired of studying in general). So, instead of actually working on my Econ 102A problem set, I’ve decided to embark on a noble quest to find new study spots across campus — one location for each part of the assignment. 

Hoover Tower

We’re starting with a classic. Nothing fuels academic productivity quite like sitting 285 feet above campus, staring out the tiny window slit, and realizing that if you let down your hair hoping your situationship would climb up to rescue you, he would actually call 911 before even considering defining the relationship. But at least you have the companionship of Herbert Hoover’s ghost reminding you that you, too, can fail upward. 

Memorial Church

MemChu is the perfect place to reflect on the questionable choices you’ve been making recently. You might feel like only divine intervention can carry you through finals week but the acoustics? Phenomenal. Every frustrated sigh released will echo in holy harmony with the people who are going through an actual mid-life crisis. Besides, studying here practically guarantees accountability, because it feels morally incorrect to scroll TikTok in a house of God. 

CoDa Elevator

After you inevitably circle the CoDa complex for the fifth time without finding any available rooms, do consider being more creative. This is a great study spot for students who thrive under pressure — specifically, the pressure of a small, enclosed metal box. The CoDa elevator quickly makes you ask the important questions. Will it go up? Will it go down? You’ll start to realize that these questions are starting to sound a lot like the ones you ask about your GPA. When the doors open, silently wage a staring contest with the newcomer. Fart. They’ll be impressed at the new low CS majors have reached, and you will overcome your crippling social anxiety. 

Arizona Garden

If you’re missing the Californian drought, the Arizona Garden will feel like home. The dryness is basically a personality trait, and its prickliness reminds you of all the friends your three-pset-induced-stress may have scared off. Nevertheless, do not despair, for nothing will pump your ego more than being a living backdrop of the photos that hordes of tourists will be taking. 

Manzanita Underground Garage

Looking for ambiance? Studying in Manzi garage’s gritty, concrete aesthetic will quickly acclimate you to working in a tech startup environment. Or, at least, to the prison cells you’ll frequent after you’re arrested for the fraud and “ethically dubious behavior” said startup will engage in. 

Center of Lake Lag

You’re imagining a nice, sunny spring day where you could float on a cute little inflatable boat and maybe read a book for once. But only the truly dedicated scholar would trek to the middle of Lake Lag during the dry season, sit on the cracked mud bed like a post-apocalyptic philosopher, and fill the lake with tears. 

The Claw Fountain

It’s actually pretty nice at first. The sound of the water is enough to drown out your thoughts. That is, until you remember that Oski is canonically buried somewhere there. You may be tempted to follow him. Don’t do it — death counts as a zero on life’s grading scale, and not even Berkeley curves that hard. 

And there you have it, fellow scholars: the seven best study spots on campus. So grab your laptop, your questionable decision-making skills, and maybe a friend if you have one. Happy studying — may the odds of connecting to Wi-Fi in Manzanita be ever in your favor.

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