I’m sick of my wife putting everyone’s needs before mine — and she forgets I hate cheesecake

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER 20 years together my wife still does not recognise that I hate cheesecake. She puts everyone else’s needs before mine. I am 49, she is 46. Our children are 17 and 15. From the start her priority has always been the children, her family and friends. If she gets a message from […]

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER 20 years together my wife still does not recognise that I hate cheesecake. She puts everyone else’s needs before mine.

I am 49, she is 46. Our children are 17 and 15. From the start her priority has always been the children, her family and friends.

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I am sick of my wife putting everyone else before me, all she does it sit and talk on the phone to her friends[/caption]

If she gets a message from anyone else she replies immediately, no matter what the time, but not if I send her a message.

I feel a failure as I pay for everything for my family yet I don’t count. Feeling unloved is also having an impact on our sex life.

This too is a rare occurrence nowadays as she rarely comes to bed at the same time as me. Her calls to other people continue well into the late evening.

I know her family and kids are important, but am I just being over-sensitive?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife doesn’t rate herself highly on her list of priorities and so she doesn’t put you up there either.

Because she is not in touch with her own needs, she may be unaware of just how you feel. You are going to have to spell it out.

Tell her (lovingly) how much you want to spend quality time with her – and that you hate cheesecake.

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