MARTIN Lewis was tearful as he opened up about his childhood grief during an appearance on Loose Women earlier today. The Money Saving Expert, 46, revealed that he was still “deeply scarred” by his mother’s death, which happened when he was just 11. When quizzed by the panel on whether he wished he had the […]
MARTIN Lewis was tearful as he opened up about his childhood grief during an appearance on Loose Women earlier today.
The Money Saving Expert, 46, revealed that he was still “deeply scarred” by his mother’s death, which happened when he was just 11.
When quizzed by the panel on whether he wished he had the opportunity to seek counselling following the tragic events, Martin replied: “Of course.”
He added: “And that’s what this is all about. I am still now, 35 odd years later, deeply scarred by what happened to me.
“It was a defining moment of my life that changed the way I act and behave and it was devastating.
“We didn’t know what to do. This was the mid 80s, you just didn’t do that type of thing and my sister, my father and I were incredibly wounded for such a long time.”
Martin continued to explain how his ongoing grief had led him to work with a charity that offered child bereavement support, although it had been hard for him to open up.
He revealed: “A few years ago Grief Encounter, which is the charity that I am involved with, asked me if I’d become a patron because sadly a friend’s children were going through counselling and they’d done a good job.
“Initially I said no because I didn’t want to explain why I was relevant to become a patron, it was that visceral for me that I was like: ‘I can’t do this.’ I’d never spoken about it.
“So I agreed to become a patron and then last year on Mothers Day I agreed to do that and that is the only time in my life that I will ever talk about it, because I can’t do it again.
The financial journalist admitted that the event had caused a huge reaction from fans, who messaged him during a planned romantic getaway he had taken with his wife.
He explained: “It was like coming out of the grief closet and I’m very glad that I’ve done it and it was helpful, that talking about it has been helpful.
“I’m better at it now and I can now admit it. I couldn’t even tell anyone that I’d been through what I’d been through and I can now admit it.”
Martin later revealed how he had funded a free and confidential grief hotline with the charity that was launched today ahead of Mother’s day.
During the chat, Martin also revealed that he “struggled to remember anything other than the pain” when recollecting about his mother.
Getting tearful, he said: “I have to tell you, I so don’t want to be here right now but sometimes when you have a voice you have a responsibility and that’s why I am here, so forgive me going defensive on you but I am trying.”
He added: “There’s so much that you have to learn about grief, I was talking about somebody the other day in this sense and I said one of the lessons I learnt is you feel guilty about being happy.
“I remember for years feeling guilty for being happy because why should I be happy, and actually my philosophy now is you grab every moment that you can possibly have.”
Martin concluded that by speaking on the panel show he hoped that the grief helpline could help a young person to go and get counselling to ensure that they weren’t left scarred by losing a parent at a young age like he had been.
Last year, the money guru broke down as he discussed his mum’s death for the first time during an interview on BBC Radio 5.
The presenter described hearing about the horse riding tragedy that killed her when he was 11 — saying: “That was the end of my childhood”.
He explained: “What happened to me was, three days before my 12th birthday, I went to Sunday school, or Jewish Sunday school, as it was.
“Someone strange picked me up and took me home. I knew them but it wasn’t what I was expecting and when I went home I was told there had been an accident.”
He continued: “My Mum and my sister had been horse riding and there had been an accident involving a lorry, and nobody told me how serious it was.”
Fighting back tears, Martin added: “I always remember worrying because my mum was in hospital and I was worrying that she wouldn’t be there for my birthday in three days time.
“And my grandmother, my Dad’s mother, said to me, ‘It’s alright, she’ll be here for your Bar Mitzvah,’ I’m a Jewish boy, that happens when you’re 13, and I thought nothing of it.
“And the next day my dad told me that she had died that morning and that was the end of my childhood, that moment.
“I cried every day until I was 15 and then I stopped crying and became brittle.”
Married Martin, who has a young daughter, six, said he found it difficult celebrating Mother’s Day after the birth of his child.
He added: “Even when I married my wife, when it was Mother’s Day, she would go with her mother for Mother’s Day and I could not go with.
“I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t cope with Mother’s Day.
“Only now, thank God, with the great joy of having my daughter, only now is my wife has become Mummy, has Mother’s Day become something that I can actually cope with going through.”
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