Trendy Audi SQ2 has bragging rights over cousins Cupra Ateca and VW T-Roc R

JUST like skinny jeans and flat white coffee, rapid crossovers is a trend the world doesn’t really need. But that’s not discouraged manufacturers from making them.

First, Seat gave us the Cupra Ateca. Then parent company VW confirmed the same-but-different T-Roc R.

And now stablemate Audi has brought its own bottle of firewater to the party – the same-but-different-again SQ2.

All three have the same minerals: 300hp, 4WD, launch control and so on. But if you’re after bragging rights, the Audi is the way to go.

When I say bragging rights, it’s four-tenths of a second quicker from 0-62mph than the Cupra – and one tenth more lively than the VW.

Take away driver weight/talent, though, and the SQ2 is king. Top Trumps is Top Trumps.

It’s quite clear the engine is the star of the show here. It’s the same 2-litre turbo we all know and love from the Golf R and Audi S3 – both sublimely good hot hatches.

The difference is Audi has thrown some extra magic at it because SQ2 sings a lovely tune as you drop the hammer, whereas the Cupra doesn’t.

The SQ2 edges it again with the interior. It is clean-cut and zero fuss while at the same time delivering a sense of prestige thanks to supple leathers and top quality craftsmanship.

The cherry is the digital dashboard with 3D Google mapping, although that does come in the Cupra too.

So would I buy one? In a word, no. I think sporty SUVs are nonsense. I’d have an S3 or Golf R.

But for mums and dads who are reluctant to trade in the hot hatch for family wheels, it will stave off middle-age malaise for a few years.

Unlike skinny jeans.