I got pregnant while working as an escort but the client wants nothing to do with the baby

DEAR DEIDRE: I had such good sex with one client when I was an escort it didn’t feel like work, but he’s furious that I’ve had his baby. I’m 24 and truly wasn’t an escort for long. I lost my job in accounts and for a couple of months I just couldn’t find anything else. … Continue reading "I got pregnant while working as an escort but the client wants nothing to do with the baby"

DEAR DEIDRE: I had such good sex with one client when I was an escort it didn’t feel like work, but he’s furious that I’ve had his baby.

I’m 24 and truly wasn’t an escort for long. I lost my job in accounts and for a couple of months I just couldn’t find anything else. I got behind with my rent and that made me panic no end.

So I went on the game for a while just to stay out of debt and I made up my mind it was only short term. I’d rather forget the first two times with clients but the next guy seemed caring and was OK-looking, and we got it together three times. He is about 30 and the sex was so nice that it almost felt wrong to get paid.

I started to hope we’d be partners for real. He didn’t want to use condoms and I’ve never got on with the Pill. It sounds stupid now but it seemed to make sense at the time to keep quiet about that and hope things worked out for the best.

I found I was pregnant and I knew for a fact that this guy was the dad as the other two men had worn condoms throughout.

I didn’t know what I should do but the next time I saw him he seemed really happy to see me so on the spur of the moment I told him the truth. I thought he might even be pleased but instead he was angry and shocked.

I moved back with my parents and they’re being great. My baby is perfect. She’s very good natured with lots of black hair. My parents already love her but sadly I can’t say the same for the dad.

He’s made it clear that he feels he was tricked and he wants nothing to do with his child. He says it’s my fault I got pregnant and so it’s my job to take care of the kid.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You must know you played Russian roulette by having unprotected sex with a man who you’d only just met.

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You put yourself in an extremely dangerous situation in which you were vulnerable to assault or infection. You found yourself with an unplanned pregnancy but it could have been very much worse.

He may feel he was tricked but that doesn’t put him in the clear. If he’s the dad, and you’re sure that he is, then he can’t turn his back on his share of responsibility for the child. Don’t let him put all the blame on to you. Get in touch with Child Maintenance Options for advice on how best to proceed (www.cmoptions.org, 0800 988 0988).

Good luck as a mum. Thank goodness your big-hearted parents have lent their support. Your daughter, at least, has a home and the family love that she needs. You can find further support as a single parent through Gingerbread (www.gingerbread.org.uk).

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