It’s harmful to tell your child to stop crying and four other things you should never say
ALL parents want to ensure their kids cope in the big wide world. But one expert has suggested that trying to ‘toughen up’ your child can be detrimental to their mental strength in the future. According to the Mental Health Foundation, roughly one in 10 children and young people are affected by mental health problems. […]
ALL parents want to ensure their kids cope in the big wide world.
But one expert has suggested that trying to ‘toughen up’ your child can be detrimental to their mental strength in the future.
According to the Mental Health Foundation, roughly one in 10 children and young people are affected by mental health problems.
Amy Morin, a US-based psychotherapist, has revealed to Business Insider the toxic phrases that parents should stop telling their children…
‘Stop crying’
Crying is a healthy way to express emotions, says Morin, and children shouldn’t be taught to not.
She explains that one of the reasons adults say sorry when they weep is because they were taught it was bad as a child.
However, if your kid is screaming in the middle of a supermarket, that warrants you addressing that bad behaviour.
‘It’s no big deal’
One of the worst things you can do is make your child’s concerns seem insignificant.
While that upcoming maths test might not seem like a big deal to you, it is to them, explains Morin.
Instead, they need your help learning the tools to cope with stress.
‘You’re the smartest kid in the whole school’
It’s important to be supportive of your child’s education by telling them how well they’re doing.
But exaggerating praise will do more harm than good, reveals Morin.
Ensure you’re being genuine, and focus your platitudes on the effort involved, rather than the outcome of grades.
This will avoid them being tempted to cheat, or give up entirely where they aren’t clearly excelling.
‘Everything will work out fine’
Reassuring your children is a natural parental instinct.
But in real life they will encounter bumps, so it can be detrimental to instil in them that nothing bad can ever happen.
Focus on giving them the coping skills to handle life’s inevitable challenges, says Morin.
‘Calm down’
Telling your child to calm down will neither make them stop having a tantrum or teach them how to regulate their own feelings.
Morin suggests showing your child how to de-escalate, such as by going for a stroll or taking deep breaths.
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