Cancer has taught me to live life and have no regrets – it’s how I want my kids to remember me
THERE are some good things about cancer. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I didn’t have this life-sentence hanging over my head. I wish I didn’t have to constantly worry about dying and leaving my kids to grow up without their mum. But the reality is, we don’t always get everything we wish for. Full […]
THERE are some good things about cancer.
Don’t get me wrong, I wish I didn’t have this life-sentence hanging over my head.
I wish I didn’t have to constantly worry about dying and leaving my kids to grow up without their mum.
But the reality is, we don’t always get everything we wish for.
Full of regret before cancer
Three years ago, before I was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer my life was completely different.
Back then if someone had asked if I had any regrets, were I to drop dead on the spot, I would have said: “Yes, 100 per cent.”
I would have regretted not spending enough time with my kids, taking my loved ones for granted and not being present and living in the moment enough.
Before cancer – my life BC – I always assumed I had more time.
I relied on tomorrow coming around, giving me the chance to fulfil my list of hopes and dreams.
I banked on there being another day to take holiday and make memories with my kids.
I was happy, ploughing through life with one eye on retirement and cooking up grand plans to travel when work was over and done with.
And it seems I’m not alone. New research from Remember A Charity this week showed four in ten Brits live with regrets, and half worry they are wasting their lives.
Now, I hope you don’t have to get the same wake up call as I did, but take note.
Cancer changed everything
I lived with regrets too, but then cancer turned up in my life and shook me to the core.
Everything changed, the ground was whipped from beneath me when doctors uttered the phrase “stage 4 cancer”.
I was forced to reassess every part of my life, and ask myself very difficult questions.
Before cancer – my life BC – I always assumed I had more time. I relied on tomorrow coming around, giving me the chance to fulfil my list of hopes and dreams
How did I want to spend what could be my last days?
How do I want my kids, family and friends to remember me?
And with that, cancer changed my outlook on life.
Facing death, I chose to live for now
Facing the very real fact I might die – and soon – I was forced to look at things differently.
In that moment, I realised what I had always known – life really is too short.
Sadly for me, it took cancer to make me really see that.
It took my own mortality to make me really live my life, embrace each day and make sure I have no regrets.
It’s easy to sit and say, “if only I had time to do this”, and “if only I could do that”. The hard bit is actually doing it.
It’s the little things that make precious memories
What I have realised is, having no regrets isn’t necessarily about the big things in life.
Yes, holidays and grand plans are nice.
But, tiny changes have made a huge impact for me and my family.
It’s about finding the golden nuggets that help you live in the moment and enjoy what you have right now.
Getting home ten minutes earlier, watching movies with my family, dancing with my kids, even just going for a walk.
When it comes down to it, they are the things I want my kids to remember.
I want them to have these everyday memories of me.
I want them to remember me as being passionate about life and living – and passionate about them.
I want them to recall their quirky, crazy mum who danced with them in the rain, drank wine and laughed when she wanted to cry.
I want them to be proud of me, for making an impact and raising awareness of cancer and it’s signs and symptoms.
I want them to live in a world where they don’t need to worry about cancer – and I want them to know I did everything I could to make that happen for them.
And I want them to grow up to have no regrets, put their health first, live in the moment and to make the most of every opportunity.
BRITS TOP REGRETS IN LIFE
THIS week new research from Remember A Charity – a consortium of more than 200 causes who encourage people to leave money to charity in their will – revealed four in ten Brits regret things in life.
And half worry the are wasting their lives.
Top of the regrets poll are:
- Not travelling enough
- Not taking better care of our health
- Not spending enough time with family
- Spending too long at work
- Not being a better parent
THINGS CANCER MADE ME SAY
You only regret the things you didn’t try
In the end, you only regret the chances you didn’t take.
Sounds a bit cheesy, I know. But it’s true.
Don’t put stuff off, don’t regret not seeing your loved ones. Get up and live in the moment, and make those memories now.
The past is done, no point in having regrets.
None of us can count on tomorrow, cancer or no cancer.
So today is all we’ve got – so go get it.
GET DANCING... ALL IN AID OF CHARITY
THIS week I got the mother of all requests… I was asked to dance on a podium… at WEMBLEY.
Needless to say, I didn’t need to think about it for long.
As you’re reading this, I will have my dancing shoes on alongside stars like Kimberley Wyatt and Oti Mabuse, all in the name of a good cause.
We’re taking part in a record-breaking attempt to dance for 30 hours, non-stop.
Tesco has launched Dance Beats, a fundraiser to raise money for three UK health charities – Cancer Research UK, the British Heart Foundation and Diabetes UK.
With cancer, heart disease and diabetes to blame for more than half of all deaths in this country, it’s vital we all do more to tackle these issues, and raising money to fund research is a great place to start.
For the rest of this month, Dance Beats aims to bring the nation together, to raise millions.
It will run for three days, yesterday, today and tomorrow.
You can get involved in one of three ways:
• Support your local store – head down to your local Tesco store and support fundraising events
• Show off your moves – check out Tesco social channels and have a go at performing one of the signature Dance Beats moves. For every dance move you upload Tesco will donate £10 to the Dance Beats campaign up to a maximum of £100,000
• Create your own event – download the Dance Beats fundraising guide and create your own community dance event
To find out more information, visit www.Tesco.com/DanceBeats