I want my baby to feel the love I never did, but the dad is married

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex with a colleague in the office, at my flat and in his car. We couldn’t keep our hands off one another even though he’s married. Now I’m going to have his baby but he’s not interested in being a dad. I am 25. I was a sales manager with a […]

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex with a colleague in the office, at my flat and in his car. We couldn’t keep our hands off one another even though he’s married.

Now I’m going to have his baby but he’s not interested in being a dad.

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I am 25. I was a sales manager with a large car company earning good money and life was on the up.

When a new guy joined we got on straight away and we were reaching the best sales targets of the group.

We started going out for a drink after work, which led to us beginning an eight-month affair a year ago.

I knew he was married but was so in love I was blinded by it. We took amazing risks to have sex at work.

He told me he’d never been so in love and I felt the same.

He is 31, tall, dark and so handsome.

I wanted to tell everyone about us, but he insisted we keep it secret.

Then I found out I was pregnant.

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I told him and he asked me to arrange a termination.

I agreed but after a week I knew I wanted my baby.

An innocent child did not deserve to pay the price for our mistake and I wanted a baby to love in the way I never was loved as a child.

He started calling his wife in front of me, telling her how much he loved her.

I was devastated and took an extended holiday to sort out my head.

When I went back to work everyone shunned me and my lover totally ignored me.

My boss wanted to see me, so I guessed my colleague had told him about us.

I told him my side of the story and my boss looked totally rocked on his heels, so I knew my lover had told lies about me.

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Now I am six months pregnant and can’t wait to leave work as the atmosphere is horrible.

My ex says he will support the baby financially but that’s as far as it will go.

I am excited about becoming a mum but very sad that my baby will not have a loving dad.

DEIDRE SAYS: It was a shame you let love or wishful thinking blind you to the fact that your lover is married but I’m sorry this guy proved to be so irresponsible and uncaring.

On what terms are you leaving work? If you’re being pushed out it could count as constructive dismissal and you could be compensated.

Talk it over with Acas who help with workplace issues (acas.org.uk, 0300 123 1100).

I understand your longing to create the happy family you never enjoyed but you will face extra challenges if you weren’t loved as a child yourself.

Please get all the support going.

Have you family and friends ready to help? Check out online support like mumsnet.com but also Family Lives who have a helpline open every day (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).

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