I had threesome with my fella and his mate — turn-on for him, not worth it for me

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex with my boyfriend and his mate – both at the same time. It was fun, I suppose, but I’ve got doubts about doing it again, though my boyfriend says it was a big turn-on for him.

I’m 25 and he’s 27. We’ve being seeing each other for five years and our sex life is fine.

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He kept going on about having a threesome and said I’d enjoy it with him and his mate. I wasn’t quite sure if he meant it or if he just enjoyed winding me up, which it did.

His mate is 25, too, and they were in the Army together. They’re both fit-looking guys and I even quite fancy his friend but I’m not into threesomes or sharing. It’s not my kind of thing.

Still, my boyfriend kept on about having a threesome and, in the end, I called his bluff.

They were both in the lounge on a Saturday lunchtime, watching TV. I put on a red lacy nightie and called them upstairs. They came into the bedroom and the look on my boyfriend’s face was worth waiting for.

Alamy

He was shocked to the core but I could see he was very excited as well. I told them to lie on the bed and I gave it my best and then they took it in turns to please me.

My boyfriend’s mate is much bigger than him and it did make it very exciting for me as his manhood was huge.

I thought that might worry my boyfriend but he didn’t seem bothered about that at all. So now I’ve done what my lover was begging me to do but he’s still keeping on as he wants a repeat.

I’ve got no feelings at all for his mate though I did enjoy being with someone that big. But that makes me wonder even more whether it’s OK to do it again.

DEIDRE SAYS: You’re all adults here and it’s perfectly legal if that’s what the three of you want to do.

You don’t need permission to do it but, equally, you don’t need permission to say that it’s not what you want.

Your boyfriend is very turned on by the sight of his girl and his mate. That’s not about you and him, it’s a fantasy thrill with less pressure on him.

You like the size of his mate but you’re just not in love with the man and I’m guessing that this is what makes it feel wrong.

Judging by the experiences readers recount to me, involving other people in your sex life tends to lead to problems. It might make you enjoy sex less with your boyfriend, for example.
And if having sex with just you doesn’t do it for him then that risks eating into your self-esteem.

My e-leaflet on Threesomes can help you to think about this and discuss it with your boyfriend.

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