My wife and I had a threesome with an escort and it was a major letdown

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I had a threesome with an escort, which I thought was going to fulfil all my fantasies. It didn’t. The women got more excited with each other than with me. It’s left me feeling disturbed. My wife and I had discussed the idea of a threesome so many times but […]

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I had a threesome with an escort, which I thought was going to fulfil all my fantasies. It didn’t.

The women got more excited with each other than with me. It’s left me feeling disturbed.

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My wife and I had discussed the idea of a threesome so many times but never acted on it.

Then a couple of weeks ago, we agreed to go ahead and arranged for an escort we found online to meet us at a hotel.

I am 40, my wife is 38, and we have been married for 12 years.

We have a little boy who was staying with his gran that night. The escort must have been in her early twenties.

My wife wanted to back out at the last minute, saying she was too self-conscious to bare all to a stranger.

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But I persuaded her it was worth living our fantasy to try it.

We had a drink in the hotel bar with the girl first, really just to help my wife relax, before going to the room.
They got undressed and into bed.

I thought I would start off getting aroused watching them but they got so excited and into it, trying all kinds of positions and having orgasms, that I felt like a spare part and that I’d be intruding if I joined in.

It was the first time my wife had sex with another woman and I was shocked at how enthusiastic she was.

It really seemed as if the two women fell for one another and I ended up feeling very left out.

My wife said afterwards that she only went ahead with it for my pleasure.

She doesn’t agree the experience was really special for her but I was there and I saw how much she got out of it.

I was hurt that my wife had a sexual encounter which I was not part of but she does now seem to feel much sexier when we make love.

I am thinking that maybe repeating the experience, this time with me joining in, could give us closure.

I am still confused that my wife could enjoy a romp like that with a total stranger — and with such enthusiasm. It’s as if I’ve never really known her.

My wife doesn’t agree, however, and thinks we should leave it in the past.

DEIDRE SAYS: Having another threesome would most likely just double all your doubts.

Maybe your wife did discover she had gay feelings she’d never stirred up before (most of us have at least some) but you should be glad she is happy to leave them be, in the past.

After all, it’s not just your marriage at risk here. Your little boy’s family life is on the line too.

Talk to your wife about why the two of you decided to get involved in a threesome.

If it’s because your sex life is beginning to feel dull, the way to resolve that is to deepen intimacy between the two of you.

My e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex can help.

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