I have sex scratches all over my back – how do I explain them to my girlfriend?
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE got scratches all over my back after a night of sex with my sister’s neighbour. It’s obvious how I got them but how I am going to explain it to my girlfriend? She will end our relationship straight away when she sees them. I’m a 24-year-old guy. It was my nephew’s sixth birthday […]
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE got scratches all over my back after a night of sex with my sister’s neighbour.
It’s obvious how I got them but how I am going to explain it to my girlfriend? She will end our relationship straight away when she sees them.
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I’m a 24-year-old guy. It was my nephew’s sixth birthday last weekend and my older sister, his mum, asked me along to join in the fun. After all the kids went home and my nephew was in bed, my sister, her husband, his mate and I started drinking.
My sister had arranged for her neighbour, who’s an old friend, to come round to babysit so we could go down the pub.
She’s got children, too, and they take it in turns to babysit for one another.
I ended up drinking far too much. I had intended go to back to my girlfriend’s but I called her to say I couldn’t make it and staggered back to my sister’s house.
She and her husband went straight to bed but I sat down and got chatting with the neighbour. We went to the same school and know lots of the same people. She’s 24, too.
We talked about who had sex with who, our early sexual experiences and how much fun they were. It was a turn-on and we started kissing on the settee.
One thing led to another and we ended up having drunken sex on the sofa.
She eventually went home, saying how great it had been to get together with me again. It felt great at the time but I feel so guilty now.
My girlfriend and I have been together for five years and have been talking about getting engaged. She is 23, a great girl and I know she’s right for me. But I’m so scared now. Do I tell her what happened or make up a stupid excuse?
The other issue is how my sister will react. Her neighbour has a partner but he’s not a nice guy. Her mum was sleeping over to mind their kids while she was at my sister’s.
My sister will be furious I took advantage of how needy her mate is at the moment.
Topic of the day
SEXUAL happiness increases the more sex you have – but only up to a point.
Research shows more than once a week doesn’t make you happier but less than that can threaten a relationship.
If your sex life needs rescuing, my leaflet Saving Your Sex Life explains how.
For a copy email me at problems@deardeirde.org or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: Spilling the beans to your girlfriend will bring you no peace of mind and could wreck your relationship permanently.
Is she a suspicious person? If not, you can probably cover up a couple of weeks without sex by saying you are tired or feeling under the weather. Make sure you shower out of sight.
Tell your sister’s neighbour you are sorry if she hoped for more from you.
You may have to eat humble pie with your sister but beg her not to shop you to your girlfriend. Also, say you realise that you were way out of line.
Most people fancy someone else sometimes, even when they are in a really strong relationship.
But do think whether this is a sign you need to put some fresh energy into your relationship, especially if you are planning for the long-term.
My e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT can help.