Charlie Webster reveals her stepdad used to beat her as a child and it left her suicidal

CHARLIE Webster was twice brought back to life on an operating table after contracting malaria during a 3,000-mile charity bike ride from London to Brazil in 2016.

Yet incredibly, she has come through worse.

The broadcaster, 37, reveals for the first time today that she is a survivor of domestic abuse at the hands of her controlling stepfather, who also abused her mother during their 27-year marriage.

Charlie told The Sun: “The control and abuse was so bad I felt suicidal as a kid and as an adult.

“Coming out of hospital, I had a lot of flashbacks of what happened to me. Trauma ignites trauma and there were times when I fought so hard to live.

“Every day was about survival. It’s only now I have started to deal with it. I wouldn’t have been able to talk to you five years ago, as this person still had so much control over me.”

Charlie was seven and living in Sheffield when her stepfather first subjected her to vile taunts. They later escalated into violence.

He would call her “stupid, thick and ugly” — as he did to her mum — and left her bruised from beatings.

‘Turn into a zombie’

She says: “One time he beat me to the floor because he was drunk. A stranger had to drag him off me because he wouldn’t get off.

“When my mum was at work, he would punch me and give me a dead arm and a Chinese burn, while saying I was a cry-baby and weak.”

The unpredictable nature of the outbursts meant Charlie was “always on edge”, thinking: “Was he going to be angry? What was he going to do? What was he going to do to me? What was he going to do to my mum?”

He threatened to kill her mum — and kill himself — if she ever left him, which she did try several times.

Visitors felt unwelcome, Charlie says, adding: “He wanted to make sure everyone was scared of him.”

Now Charlie wants to get other survivors talking about domestic control and abuse.

She has shattered myths via her podcast Undiscussable, stressing that abuse could be a single, shocking incident but also a pattern of behaviour over a long period. Targets can be young or old, male or female.

Charlie, who works for BBC Radio 5 Live, was constantly “walking on eggshells” at home, afraid of enraging her stepfather.

She says: “Home is supposed to be your safe, loving space. As soon as I walked in the door from school I wouldn’t know where to put my feet in case I made a noise.

“I would chew quietly and make sure my teeth wouldn’t touch my knife and fork, not making any noise, trying and keep the peace to protect my mum.

“Anything would make him angry, even the sound of me eating. Hearing that, he would smash the table with his fists near your face. I was constantly on edge.”

Growing up feeling worthless and unloved, single Charlie admits, has affected her adult relationships.

She says: “You don’t get brought up in this environment and expect to have an amazing relationship with the world. To survive back then I created behaviours. I became detached as a kid and turned myself into a zombie — to not feel emotion, because if I did, I’d be a mess. How would I have got through life?

“I have suffered depression since I was a kid, which was diagnosed when I was 16. I’ve experienced mental health problems ever since.”

Lasting effects include an inability to accept praise. Charlie says: “I was traumatised and had a lot of nightmares. If I got close to somebody, it would trigger a feeling of a lack of safety and stability.

I became detached as a kid and turned myself into a zombie — to not feel emotion, because if I did, I’d be a mess. How would I have got through life?

Charlie Webster

“When I got older, I sought approval from myself that I was good enough, to answer the voice in my head telling me I wasn’t. I pushed and pushed to prove to myself I wasn’t what he said I was.

“It’s no coincidence if you look back at what I have done — marathons, Ironman races, all these crazy challenges — my motivation was to help and raise awareness for causes but also to get a sense of achievement, to be good enough. If I told you every day as a child that you weren’t good enough, what would you think you are as an adult?”

Her situation was a factor, Charlie says, in her being sexually abused by her former running coach in her teens.

She adds: “People like that coach are predators who prey on vulnerable people for the power. It was easy to have power over me.”

Her teachers, she says, knew of her home situation but largely didn’t get involved.

Charlie adds: “At that stage I was depressed and self-harming as well. People could see that.

“I would sit in class and be so disengaged but I could also be challenging at school. I would challenge the teachers sometimes as a cry for help. I eventually told a teacher who would notice things and she started to talk to me.

“The one time I did tell her was when my parents went on holiday without me. I was probably 15 and I broke down on her. She wanted to help me and she did try.

“It’s easier to ignore and society enables it, behind closed doors. I really believed people at school knew what I was going through.” Charlie’s mum, now 54, finally freed herself from her husband’s clutches two years ago — after her daughter arranged a safe place for her to go.

The final straw came when her partner ordered her mum to leave Charlie’s bedside as she fought for life in a Rio hospital and head home.

Over almost three decades, her mum’s weight had dropped to just 8st due to anxiety and stress. Yet Charlie’s stepfather, who The Sun is not naming, still called her “fat”.

He once drunkenly hit her mum in the face with a builder’s hard hat — yet the fear of retribution meant they never reported such incidents.

Charlie says: “How does a victim leave when their finances are under control, their mind?

“They have nowhere to go. When my mum came to live with me she had just two bags. What are they supposed to do?” Charlie hopes telling her story today will widen understanding of domestic abuse, which she says far too often becomes “normalised”.

She adds: “I’ve had people say, ‘I don’t think a member of my family is being abused but he is really depressed and she controls everything he does and calls him stupid’. That IS domestic abuse.

“Attitudes need to change. Domestic abuse is a root cause of every social problem we have, homelessness, imprisonment, knife crime, substance abuse, alcohol, mental health problems and suicide.

“I’ve been speaking to the Government about this for five years but nobody is listening. More should be done to prevent it. It’s far more common than we think.”

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