I’m madly in love with my sex buddy but he just wants to be friends with benefits

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD great sex with a guy I met in a club. We did some wild dancing together and at the end of the night we romped in his car.

I’ve been madly in love with him through the two years since then. I can’t live without him but he just wants to be friends with benefits, which makes me feel insecure.

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I have amazing sex with with a guy I met in a club and now I can’t live without him[/caption]

I’m 22 and I’ve never been one of those petite curvy girls most guys seem to go for. I’m not fat but I do have large bones and a round, plain-looking face.

No man had taken much notice of me before I met the guy I’ve fallen for.

He’s 25 and he told me from the start he’s not the relationship type. I was sad to hear that but I hoped it would change.

I went on a diet and started to buy myself sexier clothes.

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We met in a club and did some wild dancing together[/caption]

We used to meet every week to have sex at his place. I thought we were getting on well then he told me he’d met someone else and that she’s quite different from me.

He dropped me like a stone and went out with that girl for six months. I was heartbroken, as I love him so much.

Then he sent me a message last month to say he has finished with her and he wanted me back.

I’d missed him so much that I couldn’t say no. We’re friends with benefits now, like before.

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We romped in his car at the end of the night and then met every week to have sex at his place[/caption]

My friends are all angry with me and say I’ve got no self-respect — which is true, I suppose.

They don’t like him at all, as when we’re out drinking in town and we’re in the same bar or the same club as him, he will act like he hasn’t seen me. He won’t even smile or say hello.

I think he is ashamed of the way I look, which I know isn’t great.

I think he’s got bored with me now as we haven’t had sex for a while. I don’t know what to do.

DEIDRE SAYS: Listen to what your friends are saying. They can see that this man is a user who doesn’t deserve your attention and time.

This isn’t love. It’s not even a real FWB thing. Judging by the way that he treats you, I am sorry to say he is not even a friend.

You need to get clear of him and get on with your life. Whatever the size of your bones or the shape of your face, you are a warm, loving person with so much to give.

I am looking for the reason that you think so little of yourself and why you put up with the cruel, heartless way he behaves.

Did you grow up in a home where you didn’t feel cherished and loved? Were you a victim of bullying at school?

These traumatic experiences can cast a long shadow and leave you with a low sense of self-worth.

Read my e-leaflet on Raising Self-Esteem and take pleasure in telling this man where to go.

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