Emotional Ben Affleck says ‘I don’t want my kids to pay for my sins or be afraid of me’ in alcoholism interview
BEN Affleck has admitted that he hopes his battle with alcoholism won’t leave his three children “afraid” of him.
The former Batman star – who shares Violet, 14, Seraphina, 11, and seven-year-old Sam with his ex-wife Jennifer Garner – admitted he wants to avoid inflicting the “painful” impact of an alcoholic father on his kids, after growing up with a dad fighting the same issue.
In a new interview with ABC News‘ Diane Sawyer, the 47-year-old opened up candidly about his personal fears.
He admitted: “I really don’t want my children to pay for my sins. Or to be afraid for me, which is one of the hard parts of being the child of an alcoholic.
“You think, ‘What if my dad gets drunk? What if he does something stupid? What if he ends up on TMZ,’ you know? And on my newsfeed and other kids see it?”
Ben continued: “Alcoholism are very painful… If there’s something that your child is suffering – that’s a level of pain that is just not easily gotten past, not easily forgiven, not easily forgotten. And it’s hard.
“You’re not gonna avoid causing your kids pain, all pain – pain is a part of life. I take some comfort in that. I’m doing my very, very best. And I hope that that is – you know – it has to be good enough. I have to – I don’t really have a choice.”
Ben also revealed that his drinking was linked to his personal battle with depression, something which is potent in his family’s history.
The actor’s grandmother took her own life amid alcohol and barbiturate abuse, while his father Timothy Byers Affleck was addicted to alcohol.
While the star’s aunt also battled with addiction.
Opening up about the pain it caused in his childhood, Ben explained: “[My father was drunk every day and that was just life. And that was what it was.
“And as that got worse, that was really, really painful. And I always said, ‘That’ll never be me. I am never gonna do that.'”
He continued: “I wish he had been sober during those formative years. But what he’s taught me is how important it is for me to be sober now during this formative years for my kids.”
The star proudly admitted he has spent the past six months focused on being a good parent, doing tasks such as school drop offs, attending swim meets and other day-to-day tasks.
The actor also revealed his pain at the fact his personal issues led to his divorce from Jennifer.
He explained: “I never thought I was gonna get divorced — I didn’t wanna be a divorced person.
“I really didn’t wanna be a split family with my children — and it upset me because it meant I wasn’t who I thought I was. And that was so painful and so disappointing.”
His candid interview comes after the release of another chat in which the Good Will Hunting admitted that his divorce from Jennifer was the “biggest regret” of his life.
The actor and his Daredevil co-star were one of Hollywood’s golden couples when they tied the knot in 2005, but by 2018 the pair had called it quits due to Ben’s battle with alcoholism.
And speaking about how his issues with alcoholism influenced the end of his marriage, Ben expressed his continued guilt.
He told The New York Times: “I drank relatively normally for a long time. What happened was that I started drinking more and more when my marriage was falling apart. This was 2015, 2016.
“My drinking, of course, created more marital problems.”
The Argo star continued: “The biggest regret of my life is this divorce. Shame is really toxic.
“There is no positive byproduct of shame. It’s just stewing in a toxic, hideous feeling of low self-worth and self-loathing.”
But the remorseful actor also revealed that he was taking care not to obsess over his mistakes as he tries to move forward with his life.
He continued: “It’s not particularly healthy for me to obsess over the failures — the relapses — and beat myself up.
“I have certainly made mistakes. I have certainly done things that I regret. But you’ve got to pick yourself up, learn from it, learn some more, try to move forward.”
In 2018, Ben and Jen divorced after 13 years of marriage and the family has been moving forward after Ben’s relapse in 2019.
Ben first checked into rehab in 2001, revealed his dad struggle with alcoholism in 2012, and made a second trip to rehab in 2017.
In 2018, Ben checked in a live-in rehab facility after Jennifer staged an intervention.
In October, Ben admitted to relapsing during his alcoholism recovery – just one day after celebrating a year of sobriety.
The actor – who’s been in and out of rehab – spoke to photographers outside his ex-wife’s home about his mistake.Prior to his relapse, the Good Will Hunting star posted to Instagram about his alcohol addiction treatment.
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He wrote: “Battling any addiction is a lifelong and difficult struggle. Because of that, one is never really in or out of treatment. It is a full-time commitment. I am fighting for myself and my family.”
Ben’s frank comments come as he promotes his new film, The Way Back, which is the comeback story of and alcoholic basketball coach.
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