I slept with my boss but now he won’t talk to me or even look at me at work
DEAR DEIDRE: I TOTALLY fell for a guy at work who made me feel I was the woman he’d been waiting for all his life. He talked me into having sex with him but the next day wouldn’t even look at me. I am 22 and a management trainee at a large supermarket. I didn’t […]
DEAR DEIDRE: I TOTALLY fell for a guy at work who made me feel I was the woman he’d been waiting for all his life.
He talked me into having sex with him but the next day wouldn’t even look at me.
I am 22 and a management trainee at a large supermarket.
I didn’t do too well at school and am proud to have got this far.
I work hard and dream of being the manager one day.
I was loving my job until this guy moved here from another branch to be my team supervisor.
He’s 28, really chatty and flirty.
I’m a quiet type and right from the day he arrived, he would tease me and make me blush.
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He would get me to show him how things were done at our branch so there would be the two of us together, often out of sight of other staff.
He flattered me and told me how gorgeous and unspoiled I am.
After a month or so, he asked me out for a drink and we had a couple more dates.
We kissed loads but I wouldn’t let it go any further.
Then the lockdown arrived and he said he would give me a lift to and from work when our shifts were the same, saving me having to go on public transport.
The second day he was giving me a lift home when he drove the car to a quiet spot, stopped and started kissing me.
He said all sorts of things about how special I was to him and how he couldn’t hold back any longer.
He said it was my fault for making him feel so aroused.
In the end I agreed to have sex with him on the back seat.
It wasn’t my first time but I’m not very experienced, so it was a big deal for me — something special.
He said how wonderful it had been and drove me home.
But I was upset he didn’t reply to texts I sent him later that night.
The next day he wouldn’t even look at me at work, let alone talk or flirt with me, though he was as chatty as ever with other colleagues and having a laugh with them.
I felt totally humiliated.
It’s been like this for the past six weeks.
I am so miserable now that I’m thinking of quitting my job because I find it so awkward to be around him.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Work relationships might get personal but they should not breach company rules or stop everyone being professional and respectful towards each other.
Do not feel like you need to leave.
Talk to HR or your union – and keep in mind this might be grounds for a sexual harassment complaint.
Talk to Acas, which advises on workplace issues (acas.org.uk, 0300 123 1100), and find support for your understandable distress through Rape Crisis (rapecrisis.org.uk, 0808 802 9999).
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