My wife has a higher sex drive but I can’t get and maintain an erection

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE lost my mojo and have had trouble getting and maintaining an erection for the past 18 months. Through 20 years of marriage, my wife and I have always enjoyed an active and pretty adventurous sex life. My wife has a higher sex drive than I do and now I feel I’m letting her […]

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE lost my mojo and have had trouble getting and maintaining an erection for the past 18 months.

Through 20 years of marriage, my wife and I have always enjoyed an active and pretty adventurous sex life.

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My wife has a higher sex drive but I can’t get & maintain an erection[/caption]

My wife has a higher sex drive than I do and now I feel I’m letting her down.

I know other circumstances can affect the libido but I have a regular job and income – in the food industry, so it hasn’t suffered during coronavirus. We have good friends, while our two kids are nearly grown-up and doing well.

I’m 45, love my wife to the moon and back and still fancy the pants off her. We enjoy each other’s company and make each other laugh – I just can’t make love to her the way I’d like to.

DEIDRE SAYS: When there is no obvious stress causing erection problems, such as relationship, work or money problems, it really is important to see your GP for a check-up to be sure it is not a symptom of a medical issue, such as a heart problem, that needs treating. So do that urgently. 

Assuming you get the all-clear, ask your wife to be patient and join with you in lots of sex play, bringing each other to orgasm in ways other than intercourse so you don’t feel under pressure.

My e-leaflet on Solving Erection Problems explains more.

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