A young man claiming to be my husband’s son is asking for a relationship with him

DEAR DEIDRE:  A YOUNG man claiming to be my husband’s son has got in touch asking for a relationship with him. It turns out that a girlfriend he went out with before he even met me had his child without telling him.  I’m 35 and my husband’s 38. This lad is 21. We’ve been together […]

DEAR DEIDRE:  A YOUNG man claiming to be my husband’s son has got in touch asking for a relationship with him.

It turns out that a girlfriend he went out with before he even met me had his child without telling him. 

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A young man claiming to be my husband’s son is asking for a relationship with him[/caption]

I’m 35 and my husband’s 38. This lad is 21.

We’ve been together for 15 years and have a ten-year-old son. 

I know it happened before my husband met me and he knew nothing about his child.

But I’m not sure I can accept the boy or how to explain this bombshell to our son.

Am I being unfair saying I don’t want to have anything to do with him?

I think that he will replace our son and my husband will push me aside.

DEIDRE SAYS: Assuming you’ve had a strong marriage until now your fears aren’t rational.

Are they perhaps based on having a sibling you were jealous of when young?

DNA testing is the only way to be sure he is your husband’s son but, if so, I hope you can all welcome him into your lives.

Your son may be pleased to have a half-brother and this young man deserves to have a dad.

You can talk it over with Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).

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