My husband’s sister wants him to be her sperm donor but it makes me feel uneasy
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband’s sister has asked him to be a sperm donor for her and her wife but I’m uneasy. We are happily married, with a daughter a year old. I am 29 and he’s 32. My sister-in-law and her wife plan to use her partner’s egg, so by using my husband’s sperm they […]
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband’s sister has asked him to be a sperm donor for her and her wife but I’m uneasy.
We are happily married, with a daughter a year old. I am 29 and he’s 32.
My sister-in-law and her wife plan to use her partner’s egg, so by using my husband’s sperm they would both be genetically related to their baby.
My husband has no problem with it and his family are all for it, so I feel under pressure to agree.
But it doesn’t feel right to me. It makes me feel jealous too.
Would I be selfish to say no?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is a big ask and bound to arouse strong feelings in all those involved.
But it is not selfish to insist everyone properly researches all the implications.
Suppose the baby is born with complications?
See hfea.gov.uk for detailed information about sperm donation.
If you can then agree, your sister-in-law’s feelings matter more than outsiders’ opinions and the children are unlikely to be troubled, as long as they are given an honest and age-appropriate explanation.
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