I am hooked on hot sex with my married ex but I feel bad for my husband
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having amazing sex with a guy I went out with 20 years ago. We are both married but there is so much chemistry between us. I am 41 and he is 43 and in the police. He had already started working for them when we were going out together. He was good […]
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM having amazing sex with a guy I went out with 20 years ago.
We are both married but there is so much chemistry between us.
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I am 41 and he is 43 and in the police. He had already started working for them when we were going out together.
He was good to me and we didn’t really fight but we broke up because the hours he worked meant I hardly saw him — then he moved to work with a different police force.
He got in touch last year after tracking me down through a mutual friend.
We started texting one another, reminiscing about our past.
We talked about how we used to have so much chemistry and how we always had amazing sex.
We live hundreds of miles away from each other now but we met again when he came to the town where I now live for a meeting in the summer.
He invited me for dinner and then up to his hotel room, and we just talked for a while.
I was a bit embarrassed to see him as I am not in as good a shape as when we were younger, whereas he is still really fit.
He told me I didn’t need to be embarrassed, especially around him. I had promised him a massage for his birthday so I gave him an all-over one.
I could see he was getting turned on just by me touching him.
We then started kissing and he began to undress me. We had the most amazing sex.
We both agreed it was just like what we had when we were younger.
We still have so much chemistry between us and have romped a few times since — and it’s always great.
I feel guilty but my marriage is not good. My husband is 53. We have been married for 20 years and have two teenage kids but I’m only staying for their sakes.
My lover’s wife is gorgeous, way better looking than me.
Topic 4 today
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We plan on meeting again even though I know I don’t hope to get back with him.
He wasn’t my first boyfriend so why do I still love him?
I still have butterflies when I talk to him, like I always did. He is always so positive towards me. I am so confused.
DEIDRE SAYS: This passionate affair (which of course risks transmitting coronavirus) is really all about your failing marriage.
If you were happy you would shrug off your old lover as a pleasant memory, but he has turned up in your life when you believe your marriage is hopeless.
You’re an adult making your own choices but all the signs are that this affair is going to leave you bruised.
Your lover will move on with his marriage to his gorgeous wife intact, and you will be left sadder than ever.
Tell your lover this affair isn’t right for you now. Stop seeing him and tackle the issues in your marriage.
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Are you sure it’s hopeless? Have you had couple counselling?
It’s got to be worth the effort so you can either revive your love or part in the best way possible for your children’s sakes.
My e-leaflet How Counselling Helps explains.
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